


What Really Happened: a Memoir from the Apocalypse

by mrheegrimes



Series: What Really Happened: a Memoir from the Apocalypse [1]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/F, Inspired by The Walking Dead, Prison (Walking Dead), The Greene Farm (Walking Dead), Walkers (Walking Dead)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:02:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 28,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27746422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrheegrimes/pseuds/mrheegrimes
Summary: When the world ended, Mallory was eleven years old. What Really Happened documents Mallory's experiences from the apocalypse, as well as the survivors she knew, and how it changed them. It encompasses destruction, death, and despair, as well as hope, love, and life. This completely blunt memoir doesn't hold anything back, and doesn't shy away from the awkwardness of growing up, or the bleakness of the world falling apart. As the survivors battled with what it took to survive, they discovered how much they could lose before they lost themselves. Some were made weaker, some were made stronger, and some learned to change the world itself. These are the stories of who made it, and who didn't. Told through Mallory's eyes.
Relationships: Andrea/Maggie Greene, Beth Greene & Maggie Greene, Carl Grimes & Judith Grimes, Carl Grimes & Lori Grimes, Carl Grimes & Michonne, Carl Grimes & Shane Walsh, Carl Grimes/Rick Grimes, Carl Grimes/Sophia Peletier, Daryl Dixon/Rick Grimes/Shane Walsh, Glenn Rhee/Original Female Character(s), Maggie Greene/Glenn Rhee, Rick Grimes/Michonne
Series: What Really Happened: a Memoir from the Apocalypse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2029672
Kudos: 1
Collections: The Walking Dead





	What Really Happened: a Memoir from the Apocalypse

Prologue:

Gatlinburg, Tennessee, 2013:

I grabbed onto the edge of the pool. The sun burned my face. My tears blended into the water.

The remote that controlled my being was a foreign force. It was the obstacle that kept me from being who I wanted to be, but was the reason I've always been the way that I was. Why I only ate chicken tenders and fries, why I was obsessed with Victorious, why I was afraid of planes, why I had an attitude most of the time, why whenever I was rude, I didn't realise it. It created me. It was the skeleton of my existence, but I cringed whenever I heard its name.

Ever since hearing the news, the uncertainty of whether I would be viewed differently bugged my head. My parents barely brought it up, but they probably thought about it as much as I did. They took note; they knew of this defining moment in their daughter's life. The fact that they had to reassure me they still loved me, that I was still who I was, had to have stemmed from at least a hint of uncertainty.

I was taken to the testing classroom with the puzzles and shapes so they could figure out whether I had ADD. When the woman flipped the spot the difference picture over, and on the back it read "autism", I was in denial. I wanted to ask them, so they could reassure me that it wasn't true, but I knew doing so would've choked me up. I hated the word the second I saw it. I connected it to why my hair was always frizzy, why I always wore t-shirts instead of dresses, why I squinted often, and why I had an ugly side-profile. It wasn't only why I had to hide, but it became the reason why I had to leave everything I knew.

My parents researched a middle school with a special education classroom, and they were going to take me out of my K-8 school, and place me there. I had to leave my friends, leave what I've gotten used to my entire life. I had to start completely new, where I knew no one. Dad told me sorry, and that it wasn't decided. But I knew that it was.

My parents' attention was drawn to Phoebe as they played in the water with her. They occasionally gave me a stare, confused as to why I was crying. The water swayed against my back, almost entering my ears. I stood firm, and scraped my fingers against the edge of the pool, and didn't let it drag me under.

Chapter 1: A Turtle and a Gun

June 2013:

As we sat in the dark living room, the light that shone from the tv strained my eyes. I counted the bricks on the fireplace over and over again, going back to the first one whenever I finished. The oddly shaped ones, or the ones that were half-filled, frustrated me. I stroked my baby doll's curly blonde hair. Phoebe was silent as she stared at the tv. She held onto the dark green blanket that hugged her knees.

"Once again, you're tuning in to ABC 11 Eyewitness News. Brian let us know before the break that five-hundred-thousand people have gotten sick from the virus that is still being investigated. Numbers are increasing, but I'd like to assure you that the government will get this under control as soon as possible. However, it is crucial, for both you and your family's safety, to stay inside your houses unless absolutely necessary. This is a high-risk situation."

Phoebe sucked her tears back into her head. Mom held her hand against her back and reminded her to breathe.

"They're saying it's safe in DC. How are we going to get there?" I asked.

"We can't get there. We're staying here. Everything will be fine," Mom said.

Dad swung in the rocking chair and looked up from his phone. "We wouldn't get there even if we tried. Military vehicles are how people get to DC. One's not coming here."

"Can't we call some place to pick us up?" I asked.

"It's not a taxi. They're more concerned with their own city than anyplace else," he said.

My foot fiddled with the notebook on the coffee table. Inside of it were the pros and cons of each of my middle school options. Mom gave it to me, and acted like the choice was mine, even though it never was. As my toes flipped through the pages, it started to feel useless.

...................................................................

I've always hated Sunday mornings. The day was filled with its own type of sorrow, almost as if it was its own emotion. The sun shined through the ugly striped curtains in the kitchen. Mom made pancakes, which became our weekend ritual. I asked her to spread peanut butter on mine.

Dad stormed down the stairs. "North Carolina's a danger zone," he said.

Mom flipped the pancakes on the griddle. "We know that, Chris."

My fork clashed against my plate as I laid it down. "We really need to go to DC."

"We can't!" they yelled in unison, waving their hands.

"But we can't stay here! It's not safe!" I normally froze whenever they'd yell, but I stood my ground.

Phoebe whimpered like a dying kitten.

"I'm sorry for yelling. But with a seven-year-old and an eleven-year-old, we can't make it there," Dad said.

I rolled my eyes, annoyed that we were the ones made out to be the problem.

"Mama and Papa have generators. We'll go there at around 4:00," Mom said.

"How long are we going to stay there?" Phoebe asked in between her tears.

A moment of silence passed and my parents looked at the floor.

"Probably a while," Mom said.

...................................................................

I laid stomach-first on the pink flower comforter on my bed. I scrolled through Mom's IPad that she loaned to me and researched the virus. A part of me was afraid to look; but a bigger part of me wanted to make sure that there wasn't a scarier truth out there that our parents were hiding from us. That they weren't sugar-coating anything. I clicked on a website that ranked every state in the US from safest to least safest. They listed North Carolina as the twenty-third safest state. That was about half. It wasn't safe enough.

"Girls, lets go!" Mom yelled from outside my door.

...................................................................

We sat in the backseat of Mom's red Pontiac. Phoebe crouched under her purple, polka-dotted blanket, encasing herself from any outside force. I scrunched a piece of the dirty yellow blanket, and held it in the palm of my hand, pulling it close to my face.

Tens of cars were backed up, one behind another, in the middle of the neighborhood. It took us minutes to even pull out of the driveway. It was as if we were molasses moving through the road.

As we reached the end of the neighborhood, Mom gasped. Dad turned to her, and placed one of his hands on her shoulder. My heart raced. My legs shook, and my face turned clammy and cold. For the first time in my life, I saw one in person. It wore jogger clothes, like it was going for a run. It was lean and tall. But it wasn't human. Blood spewed from it. Its face was ripped apart into different pieces, unleashing the layers of its existence. A lady knelt on the ground and begged to it. It was her son. Other neighbors had their eyes glued to the scene; but none of them took action.

The major roads were empty. The construction workers cleared the dead from them, similar to how they dealt with snow and ice.

As we got closer to the house, it got worse. Two were in the driveways, leading up the hill in the middle of the woods. They slowly headed towards the road. Mom pressed on the gas, even though they were far enough away from us. I stared out my window, pressing my head on the glass, and looking as far down as I could. As we turned a corner, a body laid flat on the grass; but it wasn't dead yet. They looked like a normal person, with specks of blood on the corners of their face. They stared straight at the sky, in a state of shock.

...................................................................

Mom parked the car in front of the house and turned to the backseat. "Stay here for a minute. We'll be right back for you."

Phoebe kept herself under the blanket the whole time, and wouldn't release it from her face; not even for air. Mom and Dad entered through the garage door.

A minute passed. A high-pitched scream ensued, coming from Mom.

My heart dropped and my throat tightened, like I was going to suffocate. "Where are they?"

"Mallory, what if they're dead?" Phoebe asked in a loud whisper.

Mom and Dad walked through the door and stared at the ground. They had their arms wrapped around each other, and tears were painted on their eyes. I stared at Dad and waited for his expression to turn to something readable.

I banged on the glass in an attempt to grab their attention. "What happened?"

Phoebe's hysterical cry hurt my ears. Mom stood in front of Dad and talked to him. I could only make one thing out.

"We need to go back in there."

As an immediate response, I opened the car door.

"No!" Mom yelled.

I ran towards them. "I need to see it!"

I grabbed Mom's hands, and tears filled my eyes. My heart rate exhausted me.

"Mama! Papa!" Phoebe cried from inside the car.

Mom let go of my hands and walked towards the car. "I have to get the hammer."

Dad stared at the ground, irresponsive and silent. I stared at him, but he didn't make eye contact with me. Mom grabbed the hammer from the trunk and circled back through the garage. I followed her.

Mom ducked behind the side-view mirror of the white Mustang. I headed towards the house. I reached the fridge near the brick steps. I yelled and covered my head; and Mom jumped from the other side and attacked the growling shadow with her hammer. I blacked out.

...................................................................

When I regained consciousness, I was inside the house. My aunt sat on the floor in front of the kitchen table and held a gun in her lap. Mom stood behind the counter and hid her face in her hands.

My aunt looked up at me with her eyes half-open and smiled. "Hey, sweetie. Where's Phoebe and your dad?"

I walked over to her. Blood ran down her leg. "Where's Mama? What happened to your leg?"

"She's in her room," she said.

I headed towards the bedroom.

She grabbed my hand. "Don't go in there."

"Mimi, what happened to your leg?" I asked again.

"Sit and listen. Do you know how to use one of these?" She handed me the gun.

I crossed my legs on the floor. "No."

"You pull this part back when you need to use it." She demonstrated with her finger, leaving a far enough distance. "It's going to feel tough. Pull hard."

I stared at her intently. "What do I have to shoot?"

"You see how you and me both look like humans? That we look real? Well, whenever you see someone who doesn't look like that, who has an almost grey complexion, and who can't walk like a normal person can --"

"Like the people I saw in the street?" I interrupted her.

She smiled in relief. "Yeah. When you see someone like that, you have to shoot them. I know it's hard. I never wanted to kill people —"

I bowed my head to my chest. I squeezed my eyes shut as tears streamed out of them.

"But that's why I'm not going to make it. And that's okay. But you have to make it." She poked me, signaling me to look at her. "The people who look like that, they're dangerous. They'll hurt you, your mom and dad, and Phoebe. They'll try to kill you. And you can't let that happen. So you have to do what's hard, and you have to kill them."

My gaze went past her, towards the sun that shone through the window. "Is Papa dead?"

"Mallory, listen. Listen to me. Do you understand what I'm telling you?"

I nodded.

"Ok, so show me." She scooted to the side. "Aim at that white railing outside the window and shoot it."

My hands shook as I held the gun. My finger hurt as I pulled the trigger back. A bullet shot out and a loud boom followed.

She smiled, almost laughing. "There you go. You're going to have to go out there, okay? It's not safe here. Take the gun. You give it to your parents to keep; but you know how to use it."

I looked at her through my blurry eyes. "You have to come with me."

"I can't. Listen, I know you can do this. Protect your sister, okay? Be careful. You're brave." She looked at Mom and smiled at her. "Right? Isn't she brave?"

Mom stared at her in shock, and her tears fell onto her hands.

Mimi grabbed my hand and opened it, and placed a small green turtle charm with silver markings inside of it. "Take this. It'll keep you safe. It's for good luck."

"Good luck?" I asked.

"Yeah. There has to be. You're the one in charge now. You're the only one who knows how to use a gun. You're going to need to show your sister. Show them how to survive."

I turned to Mom. "Can we get a doctor? Nothing's happened yet."

"No... this takes a while," Mimi said.

I stared at her leg. "Am I going to die too?"

"No. When I get to Heaven, with Mama and Papa, we're gonna be watching over you. Protecting you. Making sure you make it through this." She closed her eyes. "Be careful. Be kind, but be strong too. I love you."

Mom knelt beside me and held her hand on my back. "We've gotta get back home."

...................................................................

I laid on my bed and opened the Contacts app on the IPad. I searched for my aunt's number, my grandma's sister. She lived pretty close to us. I opened a new message.

"It's Mallory. Mama, Papa, and Mimi are all dead. They've become the sick things, or they will soon. We're stuck in our house and we don't know where else to go. I think we should go to DC, but Mom and Dad said we can't. But I want to go. If you're going, will you take me? Can you take all of us? It's the only safe thing. What if our house gets dangerous like theirs did?"

I hit send.

Chapter 2: DC

My aunt Andrea arrived at the house with my uncle and cousins. Mom walked outside to meet them. I stood in front of the glass door and listened to their conversation.

Andrea ran to Mom and grabbed her hands. "I heard about... I'm so sorry."

Mom bowed her head and nodded.

"We're headed to DC and you should come with us," Andrea said.

"We can't make that trip," Mom said.

"We have to. I know it's scary, but you can't stay here. Think about the girls. You wanna give them the best chance possible. And sometimes you have to take a chance to do that."

...................................................................

I pushed my magenta suitcase towards the back of the trunk, and Phoebe sat her Paul Frank backpack next to it.

"How about the boys in one car and the girls in the other?" Andrea suggested.

"I wanna ride with Daddy," Phoebe said.

My uncle Kurt pat her back. "Alright. Phoebe and Chris together and Krista and Mallory together? Sounds like a plan."

Phoebe grabbed Mom's arms. "Mommy, I wanna ride with you too!"

"There's not enough room. Ride with Dad," Mom said.

"We'll be right in front of you. I have the directions," Kurt told Mom.

The Langs always had a weird relationship with us. Andrea and my grandma got into big fights, and those fights broke them apart permanently. Phoebe and I were shielded from a lot of it. My parents decided not to cut off communication with them, and to let them be involved in our lives. We were never around them that much, but whenever it was Phoebe and I's birthday, well, usually a month or two later, Andrea took us out shopping. At least I got ice cream, toys, and candy out of it. I used to call her Auntie Cuckoo, and I still do when she's around, but behind her back I refer to her by her first name, Andrea.

...................................................................

My cousins Matt and Jeff, Kurt, Phoebe, and Dad were in Dad's car, while Andrea, Mom, and I were in the other. DC was about four hours away from home, and we were planning on just entering the state line and getting directions of where to go from there. Kurt brought his own gun, and the gun from Mimi was in the trunk of our car. I was in the backseat by myself, not shielding my eyes from what I knew I might've seen. I knew I'd rather see it than not see it, because when you know something's out there but your eyes are closed, you feel claustrophobic. Like what's outside your window could reach in to get you at any moment, and you don't know when, because you can't see. Similar to when you're taking a shower and closing your eyes so you won't get shampoo in them, and you're worried there's a spider or a roach crawling out of the drain. At least that's what I used to worry about.

...................................................................

A few hours later:

By the time we should've made it to DC, we were only halfway there. The people who directed traffic made us stop for about fifteen minutes while each car passed, one at a time. This process happened for what seemed like fifty times.

Andrea texted Matt and Jeff every five minutes. "My texts aren't going through," she said.

Mom fidgeted with her hands as she held them off the wheel. "It's probably because there's no wifi."

My stomach cramped from hunger. "Can we stop for lunch?"

"No," Mom said.

"Why not?"

She looked at me through the rearview mirror. "Because we need to stick to the road we're on. We don't know what the drive-thru lines are going to be like."

I laid my sweaty hands on my knees and sighed. "If the world is ending, can I at least have Chickfila one last time?"

Andrea laughed.

"If we can find one, maybe," Mom said.

...................................................................

Night came. Outside my window, I could only see black.

Andrea's texts still didn't go through, and she wasn't receiving any either. "I'm worried service is gonna go out," she said.

"They're fine. They're right ahead of us," Mom said.

"Until the stupid traffic guy let them get too far ahead."

"Mom, can I have a snack?" I asked.

"No. We need to save the food for later."

"But I'm hungry."

"You're gonna have to get used to it. I'm sorry."

...................................................................

As we reached DC's entrance, we were met by a traffic stop that shone bright red light. Kurt's car stopped ahead of us. A police officer stood outside the door of the car, and led Phoebe out of it. Dad and Matt walked out after her. As the officer gave them orders, my heart pounded.

"What are they doing?" Andrea asked.

Mom stared at the scene. "I don't know."

I watched through the windshield as three sick ones walked out of the woods beside the car. Andrea screamed. Kurt pulled out his gun, and another officer held him down, doing nothing about the threat.

"They need to shoot it! Aren't they shooting it?" Andrea panicked.

The officer shoved Kurt to the ground and stood by and watched as the sick grabbed for him. Andrea screamed bloody murder, yelling at Mom to put her foot on the gas and drive forward. I yelled Phoebe's name as loud as I could. As Matt tried to help Kurt, the dead got him too. Jeff stood frozen. Andrea tried to grab the wheel from Mom. A gunshot sounded. I couldn't see Jeff anymore. Andrea's scream filled the air. Phoebe grabbed her ears and cried. An officer sat her inside the car. Dad ran to the front seat. The officers didn't stop him, and the car sped ahead.

Mom started to drive forward.

The traffic man banged on the side window. "Ma'am, you can't go yet," he said.

She banged her head against the headrest. "That's my daughter and my husband!"

The man looked defeated, but obligated. He watched the line of cars behind us.

"Go!" Andrea yelled.

Mom pressed on the gas and made a run for it.

...................................................................

Five minutes passed, and we couldn't find the car. Ten minutes passed and we still couldn't. Around fifty cars were backed up ahead of us, parked because they couldn't move ahead. There were three lines of them, and we were on the far right.

"There's no other road to go on. Where the hell did they go?" Mom asked.

No one responded.

She laid her head towards the wheel and took a few deep breaths. "The car that's in front of us now, it was in front of them. What if they circled behind us? Did — could they do that? Mallory, did you see where they went? Did you see them?"

I wiped my tears with my fingers. "No."

She stopped the car. "Ok. I'm getting out to see if I can find them." She turned to me. Her face was pale and her eyes were puffy. "I need you to stay here. I'll be back."

"No! I need to come with you!" I said.

"We'll all get out," Andrea said. It was the first time she spoke since it all happened.

...................................................................

We searched around every car and every line, for about fifteen minutes, behind and in front of us. We couldn't find them. We tried to understand how they weren't there, how they got away, and where they could've gone. A man wearing a blue police cap leaned against a car in front of us.

Mom held my hand and walked closer to him. "Hey, excuse me, officer?" she said.

Andrea leaned over and whispered in her ear. "We don't know if we can trust him!"

He walked towards us. "How can I help you, ma'am?"

"I need help locating my seven-year-old daughter and my husband. We drove in separate cars, and they got too far ahead of us. I've been looking up this jam and I still can't find --"

"Hey, I'm here to help you the best I can, alright? Do you have a picture of them?" he asked.

Mom pulled out a picture from her purse, one of all of us at Disneyworld. In it, Phoebe wore pigtails and a pink shirt. Her cheeks were rosy and sunburned, and her smile was bigger than anybody else's. Mom's hair was short and curly, like it always was. My hair was shorter, at shoulder-length, and I didn't have my glasses yet. Dad wore one of his many superhero shirts. I moved my head, unable to look at my grandparents and Mimi, who were also in the picture.

"Beautiful family. We've got kids with us too." The officer knelt in front of me. "I'll take you to them. My name is Shane."

...................................................................

Shane walked me towards the open trunk of a car. The kids sat across from each other, and a checkerboard laid in between them. "Carl, Sophia, this is Mallory," he said.

Sophia sat her doll on the floor of the car. She had hair that was much shorter than mine and wore a dark blue shirt with a rainbow in the middle. "Where are your parents?" she asked.

"My mom's with my aunt. I don't know where my dad and sister are," I said.

"I don't know where my dad is either," Carl said. He had short brown hair and wore a shirt with a paw print in the center.

"Do you want to play with us?" Sophia asked.

"I don't know how to play checkers," I said.

"I'll show you. You can play against me first," she said.

A lady with short, greyish hair walked towards me. She smiled. "Hi, I'm Carol. When's the last time you ate?"

"For breakfast," I said.

"I'll go get you a snack."

Carl and Sophia laid their checkers on the board, and laughed as they tried to beat each other. I cried into my hand.

"What's wrong?" Sophia asked.

"My uncle and cousins just died. The sick got to them. They're gonna get to us too. I don't know where my sister or dad are —"

Carl stopped me. "I'm sorry about your cousins and your uncle. But your dad and sister will be back."

"Phoebe will be back, and we can all play checkers together," Sophia said.

Carol handed me a pack of goldfish, but I didn't have the energy to eat it. I laid in between Carl and Sophia, and we watched the tiny stars that were spread apart in the dark sky. For a second, I felt peace. Mom and Andrea walked back, having found nothing. I laid on the hard and bumpy surface of the trunk, unable to fall asleep.

Chapter 3: Campfire

1 week at the camp:

I sat on Mom and I's mattress and rubbed my eyes. The sun that shone through the tent warmed my forehead. Andrea was out with Jackie, T-Dog, Morales, and Glenn, trying to find Dad and Phoebe for the second time. Mom sat on the floor and folded our clothes.

"Do you think they're gonna find them?" I asked her.

"Hopefully we'll find them soon," she said.

Carl peeked inside the tent. "Mallory, do you wanna do Math problems with us?"

"I don't like Math," I said, looking at him.

"You should do some. It'll be good for you," Mom said.

"What if I never go to school again?" I asked.

"You still need to be educated."

...................................................................

I sat at the wooden picnic table and completed addition problems in between Carl and Sophia. I watched as Mom and Shane debated with each other in front of the RV. I was intrigued because Mom argued with someone once in a blue moon. Dale walked over to us. He had grey hair and was old enough to be my grandpa. He was the guardian of the group and made sure that everyone stayed in line. He tried to distract us from the argument. Eventually, I sat my pencil down and walked over to them.

"You go through anything to find your family. It's bad enough I'm not out there right now," Mom told Shane.

"And you shouldn't be. You need to be here with your daughter," Shane said.

Mom looked at me, then back at Shane. "And not look for my other one?"

"It's no use if something happens to you too."

Amy grabbed my hand to take me away from the scene. She was Andrea's friend from college. When we first arrived at the camp, they reunited because of what my aunt called "a miracle."

The long wee-woo of a car siren sounded from the road beyond the camp and travelled closer to us.

"The hell?" Dale asked.

A red sports car, with its alarm beeping obnoxiously, drove up the road to the camp. It caused anxiety in everyone. Glenn parked the car, got out of the driver's seat and laughed, impressed.

"Jesus, would you turn that thing off? The sound will attract more of them. You've got to think about stuff like this!" Dale said.

Amy ran up to Glenn and asked him where Andrea was. He repositioned his burgundy baseball cap on his head and reassured her, telling her she was okay.

I walked towards him. "Did you find my dad and sister?"

He bowed his head. "I'm sorry, no luck. We'll look again soon, okay?"

I moved the gravel with my foot, and tears formed in my eyes.

Mom put her hand on my shoulder. "It doesn't mean they're not out there. We'll keep looking."

I knew she just said that because she felt like she had to. It was false hope.

I stood in the tent and tried to control my tears. Another car drove in. The others came back. I envied Eliza and Louis for having both their mom and dad with them. Carl's dad Rick came back too. I heard their joyous cry as they ran up to each other. Everyone thought he was dead. I didn't want to see it. I couldn't. Maybe that was selfish, but I didn't care.

Daryl yelled at Rick and Shane for leaving Merle behind. Merle was racist and abusive and mean. But he was Daryl's brother, and Daryl was a lot like him. I peeked through the tent as Daryl punched Rick, and Shane held him to the ground. Andrea walked into the tent and hugged me, advising me to look away.

...................................................................

Nighttime:

The group sat together in a circle. Mom and Andrea sat beside me. I ate saltines and a PB&J for dinner from the pack of food we brought from home. I zoned out and didn't listen to the jokes the group told each other. I thought about my best friend, and how we used to make each other laugh constantly. Memories from the movies we saw together and the sleepovers we had replayed in my head. I wondered where she was, and where her family was. I hoped they all found safe shelter in their basement. I tried to make peace with the fact that I'd never find out.

Ed started a fire, which was against the rules. I was afraid of him and stayed as far away from him as possible. He was Sophia's dad, and Carol's husband. Whenever Carol took care of Mom and I, I could tell it bothered him. He was abusive and selfish. He wanted all the attention for himself. Whenever he had anger outbursts, Mom put her hand on my head and attempted to shield me from it. He argued with Shane about wanting the fire to stay on, but it couldn't, because people could see it from far away. We didn't want anyone to know we were stationed at the camp, except for Dad and Phoebe, if we could find them. Shortly after his specific outburst, and maybe because of it, Mom stood me up, held my hand, and walked me back towards the tent for bed.

I laid my face on my pillow and tried to fall asleep.

Mom sat by the mattress. "I need to talk to you about Dad and Phoebe."

"What?" I asked.

"We don't know where they are. People are harder to find now. Every time someone goes out looking for them, they take a gigantic risk. It's not safe. We can't always make that decision."

I squinted. "You don't really believe what Shane told you, do you?"

"It's not just that."

"We need to look for them together."

"No. Everyone that went out today, they know how to go out like that. We don't."

"That's why we need to learn. We need to know how to do it, eventually."

"Not yet. You're a kid, and a lot of places now aren't safe for kids."

"What about Phoebe? Do you think wherever she is, is a safe place for her?"

I could tell what I said upset her. "I know things suck, but you need to listen to me. None of us have all the answers. But you're not the adult, I am. And you need to do as you're told."

I stared at the top of the tent and listened to the noises from outside; like the crickets and other noises I couldn't always identify; but I knew they weren't from walkers, and that was good enough for me. They were a distraction from the thoughts inside my head. Eventually, they put me to sleep.

...................................................................

The next morning:

When I woke up, Mom wasn't inside the tent. The bag from home was open and laid on the ground. I took a granola bar out of it and thought about how Mom shouldn't have left it open, because it could've attracted bears, or worse. Carl walked into the tent.

"I'm happy your dad's back," I told him.

He stood behind me. "Thanks. Your dad and Phoebe will show up."

I zipped up the bag. "They probably won't. It's too late."

"It's not too late. My dad, Glenn, T-Dog, and Daryl went to go find Merle and look for them again. They'll find them soon. They have to."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and took a deep breath. "My only job was to protect my little sister. And I couldn't do that. She should've ridden with my mom, and I should've been in the other car. She was scared. She's not able to make it out there."

"She has your dad. She'll be okay."

I stood and smoothed out my shorts. "My dad gets scared too. He doesn't know what to do. Neither does my mom. We'd be dead too if we hadn't found Shane and everyone else."

"Maybe they found good people too."

"There's too many bad people out there. They're probably in the opposite direction, anyway."

"I never thought I'd see my dad again. But I did." Carl opened the tent, and prepared to walk out of it. "I'm gonna go try to catch frogs with Shane, if you wanna join us."

I smiled. "Okay."

...................................................................

The quarry was one of my favorite places at the camp. I loved jumping from one rock to the other and dipping my feet in the water, up to my knees. I sat on one of the rocks, and worked against gravity to not fall off of it. It's been about ten minutes and Carl's goal to catch frogs was unsuccessful. Shane encouraged him.

Mom and Carl's mom Lori walked up to us.

"You didn't tell me you were going down here. You need to tell me before you go somewhere," Mom said.

The sun blinded me as I looked up at her. "I'm with Carl. Andrea's right over there."

"I don't care. You need to tell me."

Her stern voice annoyed me, so I didn't respond.

"You hear me?"

I grunted.

"Hey Mallory?" Amy voiced over to us. She sat on the hill, ringing out clothes. "Andrea and I are about to take a boat ride to catch some fish, wanna come with us?"

I looked to Mom for permission, and she nodded.

...................................................................

I stared at the light blue water in the lake and tried to find my reflection. Some water was inside the boat, making my feet cold and itching my legs. I moved frequently to swat off mosquitos. "Do you think they're still alive?" I asked.

"Merle might not be. But Rick, Glenn, and T-Dog, yeah. They'll be back," Andrea said.

"I wasn't talking about them," I said.

She paused before responding. "Wherever they are, God's watching over them, just like He's watching over us. They've gotta make it okay, just like we do. They've gotta be strong, just like us."

Amy handed me her fishing pole. "Do you wanna try to catch one?"

I felt the wire catch on, but didn't pull it back strong enough, or soon enough.

"Keep trying. You'll get it," Amy said.

Andrea used the pole to bring a giant green fish into the boat. Its eyes were closed, and water dripped from it as its tail fluttered. It was big enough for half of the group. "You can catch one just like that, if there's more out here," she said.

We returned to the group with thirteen fish. Carol and Morales cheered for us, and Carl smiled and said it was cool we caught so many.

Mom pat my back. "We could have like five dinners out of this. It's impressive."

"I barely caught any myself," I said.

"You caught three! And it was your first time fishing. Give yourself some credit," Amy said.

...................................................................

Dinnertime:

The adults cooked the fish over the fire. Each bit looked like a piece of steak, only bluer and with scales. I've always wanted to try fish before everything started, but I never got the chance to. I was also too afraid to see what it would taste like. Now, we had no other option. Most of its taste I couldn't accurately describe. I thought it tasted like tobacco, but I've never had tobacco. It was salty, but only slightly.

Lori handed out cans of beer.

"Can I have a beer?" I asked.

Mom looked at me like I was crazy. "No. You're eleven."

"Why does it matter anymore? It's the end of the --"

"I said no. You wouldn't like it, anyway."

"It's true, you wouldn't like it. Carl's not having any either," Lori said.

As Dale told some fancy story about his watch, I couldn't focus. My mind always got lost whenever someone used very abstract language to describe something. Mom said she knew and liked the book he was talking about; but that didn't mean much because she read everything. I hated reading. It took me forever, and I'd always given up and said I couldn't do it.

A scream came from the RV. I jumped. We turned our heads. Amy laid on the ground, and a walker was beside her. We sat in silence as we tried to process what happened. I moved close to Mom, and she wrapped her arms around me. Andrea ran towards Amy.

"Andrea, no! Stay here!" Mom yelled.

"Krista, stay next to us," Lori said.

Shane moved in front of us and aimed his gun. My heart beat fast and my face got heavy.

"Mallory, don't let go of me!" Mom held me behind her back, in an attempt to shield me from it.

I moved her arms from my eyes. Amy was covered in blood.

Chapter 4: Postmortem

The next morning:

I slid into my bright red Crocs, grabbed a granola bar, and walked out of the tent.

Carl sat on the bench and held his face in his hands. "Are you okay?"

I used my finger to remove the sleep from my eyes. "Can you come with me to see Andrea?"

Shane laid his elbows on his knees and sat on a log next to the bench. "Hey Mallory, why don't you sit right here with me? You don't need to go up there."

Near the front of the hill, Andrea hovered over Amy and stared at her body. Mom sat beside her.

"When is she gonna turn?" I asked.

Shane pat my shoulder. "You don't have to worry about that, okay? We're keeping an eye on her."

I moved closer to the RV and listened to their conversation.

"I can't imagine what you're going through," Mom told her. "I know it seems like you've lost everything. But you haven't, because I'm still here. Mallory's still here. You need to stay strong because that's what they'd want for you. For both of us."

Dale grabbed my hand. "Let's go back to the tent."

"I need to see this. I can. It's what happens. I saw it with my aunt and grandpa," I said.

Mom turned towards me. She stood up, brushed the dirt off her knees, and walked over to me. "Don't talk back to him. You were supposed to stay near the tent."

I furrowed my brow at her. "When Amy comes back as a walker, she could attack Andrea. And you're worrying about me seeing it? We can't be afraid. We have to be ready to see these things."

...................................................................

I sat on the edge of the mattress. Mom was beside me.

A gunshot sounded.

"That was Amy," I said.

Mom took a deep breath. "I'm sorry."

The group stood around the grave that Dale and Glenn dug. Mom held my shoulder with one hand and wiped her tears with the other. Andrea sobbed and struggled to place Amy's body in the ground.

...................................................................

The camp was deemed unsafe. The group debated whether or not to leave. Shane said we all needed to stick together. He planned to take a group to the CDC and leave in the morning; to find doctors and get some answers. We sat on the logs and discussed the plan.

"What if Chris and Phoebe are out here and we just drive away from them?" Mom asked.

Shane bowed his head. "What if they tried going to the same place we are? What if leaving gets us closer to finding them? There's no good in staying here if it puts you and your daughter in danger."

"They're in danger!" Mom was frantic. "We have to keep looking for them. Even if that means just me."

Tears welled in my eyes. "Mom, no! We have to stay with them!"

"Plans change," Lori told her. "Yours did. Maybe theirs did too. They wouldn't want you to stay here when it's not safe."

"Stop telling me what I need to do for my family. What I need to do is find them, and I haven't been able to do that."

"Mom, we can't survive on our own. If they're gone, we can't die too," I said.

...................................................................

The cars parked near the sidewalk. Mom opened the car door and grabbed my hand, and we headed towards the building of the CDC. Tens upon tens of the dead laid on the ground; more than I've ever seen in one place. The smell of death was overwhelming. I gagged as what was a million times worse than wet dog and sewage combined filled my nose.

Mom wrapped her arm around my neck. "Cover your nose."

"It's not working!" I said.

The doors of the building were closed. I could sense the subtle panic in the adult's faces, which made my worry worse.

"We're stranded. What are we gonna do?" Mom asked.

Rick banged against the door continuously. Lori and Carol screamed at him. My heart raced as I waited for someone to yell again.

Rick froze and stared at the top of the building. "The camera, it moved."

Mom looked at Carol and Lori, with the realisation that he was losing his mind.

"You imagined it," Dale said.

"It moved."

Glenn and Shane guided us back towards the cars. I was exhausted and wanted to collapse right there. No one knew where to go.

The doors screeched as they opened behind us.

...................................................................

I feared what was inside the walls. A part of me worried we'd find something similar to a boring history museum, because I hated history museums. I hoped the CDC would have something fun to do.

Mom moved me behind her back. "Stay behind me."

The building was empty and dark. The only thing that caught my eye was a navy blue banner. A man walked out of the shadows ahead of us, with his gun pointed. My breathing intensified.

"Anybody infected?" the man asked.

Rick told him no. The man introduced himself. His name was Dr. Edwin Jenner. He told us we could enter, as long as we took a blood test.

"I don't like blood tests," I said.

"I know, but you have to get one," Mom said.

"Once this door closes, it stays closed," Dr. Jenner said.

We took the elevator to the top floor.

I held my stuffed panda and pointed my arm out towards Dr. Jenner for the blood test.

"Will it hurt?" I asked.

"Not too bad," he said.

...................................................................

The dining table was big enough to seat all of us. Baked chicken and rolls were served for dinner, one of my favorite meals. The rolls had a scent of sweetness that I missed. Carl asked to try some wine. Lori hesitated, but Rick convinced her to pour him some.

I looked at his glass and then at Mom. "Can I have some? Carl is."

She sighed. "A little bit."

I took a small sip of the bitter red wine. I tried to hide my expression of disgust so I could drink more. Carl didn't even try to hide his reaction, and the adults laughed.

Dr. Jenner mentioned how the other doctors committed suicide. How they dropped like flies, one after the other. My face warmed and nausea hit below my chest.

"Are you okay?" Mom asked.

"Can I go to the bathroom?" I asked her.

I leaned against the bathroom cabinet. It felt like a million bricks pushed against my body; and I shook like I was having a seizure. I closed my eyes and cupped my feverish face with my hands, as I prepared to lose consciousness or throw up. Mom coached me to inhale and exhale with every second.

...................................................................

Walking barefoot on the cold hardwood floor, I turned the corner into Carl's room. He sat on the bed and held a stack of cards.

I sat myself on the bed. "I forgot how to play."

He reminded me about Kings, Aces, Queens, and Jacks. We played three times, and I beat him twice.

"Do you wanna go in the bigger room to play with Sophia?" he asked.

I stood by the door and looked into the big game room. Several video game stations stood against the wall.

"Does the Pac-Man work?" I asked.

"No, sweetie. All the power's out," Carol said.

"Then how do the showers work?"

Sophia looked up from the puzzle she completed on the table. "The important stuff works. That's where all the power goes. Video games don't anymore."

...................................................................

The next morning:

I sat at the table and searched through a box of Lucky Charms.

Lori sat next to me. "You just like the marshmallows?"

T-Dog poured himself a glass of orange juice. "That's the best part."

Andrea buttered a piece of toast. "Isn't it dry with no milk? There's some in the fridge."

"Is there strawberry milk?" I asked.

She smiled. "No."

"Then no thanks," I said.

...................................................................

We stood in the primary room of the CDC.  
Dr. Jenner projected a brain onto the screen. Its nerves were like a big blue maze, lit up by flashes of light. Jenner said that when someone dies and comes back, they aren't who they were before. Their memories are gone. Their ability to be kind is gone. Their ability to be human is gone. When they come back as a walker, they aren't themselves. He said the infection invades the brain like meningitis. Mom wrapped her arms around me while she sniffled.

"If the doctor doesn't know how to fix it, what's gonna happen?" I asked.

Mom turned me towards her and knelt to my level. "We're gonna try our best to ride it out until it gets better."

"How can it get better if there's no one to make it better?" I asked.

"There will be. We've just gotta give it time," Carol said.

Dale noticed the big clock hung on the wall that counted down. Dr. Jenner said that when it hit zero, the power would run out. He called on his remote robot speaker, Vi, to explain further.

"When the power runs out, decontamination will occur," Vi said.

"What's decontamination?" I asked.

"It usually means getting rid of germs," Mom told me.

...................................................................

I paced around my bed. "When Vi said that, does that mean we're gonna have to get more shots? So we can get rid of the germs that the walkers carry?"

Mom sat on the bed. "I don't know, maybe. But if you do, you're gonna have to be brave about it, okay?"

"How many shots am I gonna have to get?"

"I don't know. Nobody knows yet."

The room went dark.

"Stay here." Mom walked out the door.

A minute later, she hurried back in the room. "Come on."

"What's happening?" I asked.

"Nothing. I just don't want you to be somewhere by yourself."

...................................................................

As we gathered in the main room again, Dr Jenner explained something to us; but what he said confused me. When he stopped talking, everyone went silent. Shane launched at him. Rick yelled at Lori to get their things. My heart ached and sank in my chest.

Mom grabbed my hand. "Come on, let's go get our stuff."

"Mom, what is he saying? What's happening?" I asked.

"Nothing. We're just leaving now."

"And going where?"

She looked at me and tried to form a response.

The entrance doors closed.

I glanced from one adult to the next, trying to piece together what was going on.

Andrea hurried over to me. "It's gonna be okay, honey. I promise you. You're gonna see your dad and your sister soon, okay? Just breathe. It's gonna be fine."

I tilted my head in confusion.

"Don't say that!" Mom told her.

"What happens in twenty-eight minutes?" Rick asked Jenner.

Dr. Jenner hesitated as the adults pushed for answers. "In the event of a catastrophic power failure, H.I.Ts are deployed to prevent any organisms from getting out."

"H.I.Ts? Vi, define," Rick said.

"H.I.Ts — high-impulsive thermobaric fuel-air explosives consist of a two-stage aerosol ignition that produces a blast wave of significantly greater power and duration than any other known explosive except nuclear. The vacuum-pressure effect ignites the oxygen at between five thousand degrees and six thousand degrees and is useful when the greatest loss of life and damage to structures is desired."

My gaze froze, and the blankness of white overcame my vision. I inhaled and exhaled at a greater speed than what my brain could process. My legs gave out, and I sank to the floor. It was as though every muscle and joint in my body had already lost its function. I opened my numb mouth and sobbed. My ears rung as I awaited my death.

"This is God's plan. I knew it even before we got here," Andrea said.

Mom's cry suffocated her. "I don't want those things to tear us apart out there."

A minute passed, and my eyes could focus again. I looked up at Jenner. "Is it gonna hurt?"

"No. You won't feel a thing," he said, almost smiling.

I thought of all the people I never got to say goodbye to. I dreamed about all the things I used to do with the people I lost: my grandparents, Mimi, my friends, Phoebe, and Dad. The thought of the afterlife and seeing them all again called me down. It would be painless. It would just be over, and maybe it would be okay.

"Do we really wanna live out there?" Mom asked. "So every second, we're afraid; running from walkers? Until one finally bites us, or rips us apart? There's no hope for us. A doctor from the CDC said that."

"That's not true," Rick said. "Your daughter, she deserves more than this. What if you find Chris and Phoebe? You're just gonna give up on them too?"

"I can't keep... I can't keep going out there. This is the end of the world. It's just uglier out there. I don't want us to be in pain. I don't want them to. This isn't life anymore. It's not."

Rick tried to reason with her. "You're not thinking straight. We all deserve a chance. Your daughter deserves a chance."

Screeching sounded to the side of us. The doors opened, and I exhaled.

Mom pat my back. "Come on. We need to go, now."

Andrea didn't get up.

Mom pulled her hand. "Andrea, come on!"

"I'm staying," she said.

Tears filled my eyes. "You can't stay here!"

She looked at me and smiled. "I love you, honey. You're strong. I'm not made for this world like you were. God's plan is for you to survive, I know that. But He has a different plan for me. You can do this." She turned to Mom. "You fight for her. You keep her safe. I don't have anyone to fight for anymore."

Glenn took my hand and pushed Mom towards the door. "Come on!"

Andrea closed her eyes and smiled. "It's better this way. This is what I want. I promise."

...................................................................

Dale stayed with Andrea, and they waited to be trapped in flames. Jackie, a woman from the camp, made the same choice. Glenn guided Mom and I out with the others, towards the exit. Rick set off a bomb to break the glass. I hesitated to jump out the window, but Mom laid her arms out to catch me.

When we made it back into the RV, I held my ears and ducked. My heart pounded as I feared the upcoming explosion.

"Scream during it if you have to. It'll be okay," Mom told me.

"Wait, wait! They're coming," Lori said.

Dale and Andrea jumped out the window and walked towards us. I smiled.

"Oh my god," Mom said.

"Down! Get down!" Rick yelled.

I laid as flat as I could, on the floor between the car seats. Mom shielded me. I screamed as loud as I could as the glass shattered and the boom sounded. The heat of the fire burned the chills that ran down my spine.

The CDC was broken into Lego-like pieces, completely fallen. The fire encompassed the land it was built upon. We sat in silence, knowing the last chance of safety we had was just burnt to the ground.

Mom let out a long exhale. "Alright. If we're gonna do this, let's do this."

Chapter 5: Save Them

The bright sky blinded me from outside the RV's windows. Andrea sat across from me. I tried to fall asleep on Mom's shoulder, but my mind raced.

"I miss my panda," I said.

"I know," Mom said. "But we just need to be glad we got out; even if our things didn't. Sleep. We don't know when we're gonna be on our feet again."

...................................................................

Mom pushed my shoulder to wake me up.

"What is it? What happened?" I asked.

"Nothing," she said. "There's just a jam up ahead and we're stuck."

The engine of the RV sputtered, making a loud noise. I jumped.

"It's okay, it's just the engine," Mom said.

We stepped out of the RV. Twenty or thirty cars were parked in front of us; some with the dead inside of them. We stayed alert and close together, in case a walker got close to us.

"Walk right behind me," Mom said.

Carl and Lori walked ahead of us.

"Can I go catch up with Carl?" I asked.

"No. Stay with me," Mom said.

Mom and I walked alongside the cars. In one of the passenger's seats, a hollowed-out skull attached to a body sat above the wheel. I was curious, instead of fearful. It looked different from a regular walker; as if it moved onto a new stage of decay.

"Get under the cars, now!" Rick whispered loudly.

Mom grabbed my hand and squeezed the both of us under the car ahead.

My heart raced, and I turned my head towards her. "Mom? What's going on?" I whispered.

She hushed me harshly. The moans got closer; and the legs and feet of walkers moved past us. First, in a single-file line; but eventually there were more and more of them. I impulsively wanted to grab one of their legs; like when you look over the edge of a balcony and you want to jump. The sound of my heart pumping annoyed me. Eventually, the walker legs stopped coming. I looked at Mom, and she held her finger up, signalling to wait a minute.

Sophia screamed. Mom hurried to slide herself out from under the car first, and I slid out after her. Lori grabbed Carol and held her back as she cried. Sophia ran away, and a walker chased her into the woods.

...................................................................

Shane, Daryl, Glenn, and Rick went into the woods to find Sophia. I helped load the shirts, bandages, and cans of food that the adults found from inside the cars into the RV. Shane walked back towards the group, with the news that he couldn't find her.

Mom leaned against one of the cars and bowed her head.

Carol met Shane. "We're not going anywhere until my daughter gets back."

I walked over to Mom. "You think the same thing that happened to Sophia happened to Phoebe. It didn't. Rick's out looking for Sophia."

"I'm not thinking about it like that, and neither should you. Drink some more water," she said.

...................................................................

Carl and I walked side to side as we examined the cars. A blue truck was parked in the middle of the grass, and a walker sat in its driver's seat. We moved closer to it.

"This looks exactly like the truck my grandpa used to have," I said.

"Do you wanna go inside it?" he asked.

I hesitated. "It's not safe. There's a walker right there."

"The walker's dead. It has a gun and we need it."

I grabbed the mirror on the driver's side. I noticed the fog on the lenses of my blue glasses and the sweat that covered my face. My frizzy hair stuck up from the top of my head.

"Step back. I'm gonna try to do this," Carl said.

"Why don't we just tell our moms? They can help us."

"No. I want to do this all on my own."

He opened the door, and I stayed a few feet behind him. He attempted to take the weapon out of the walker's grasp. It was stuck. He stood on the step of the truck, and hovered over the walker, and continued to pull the gun away.

"Carl, get off! It's not worth it," I said.

He pulled the weapon away from the walker; and fell to the ground.

"Carl!" I hurried to help him up.

The walker leaned over and stared straight at us. His eyes were closed and his sockets were almost empty. His hair was light orange and his skin turned grey and brown from decay and dirt.

I walked back to the car Mom stood beside.

She rolled her eyes before closing them. "Where were you?"

"Looking at the cars with Carl," I said.

"Jesus, Mallory! How many times do I have to tell you not to go anywhere out of my sight? It only takes one second for you to be gone. Think about what happened to Sophia. That happened because she didn't stay where she was supposed to."

"We found a weapon. We can use it."

"No, you can't. You don't even know how to handle weapons yet."

"Yes, I do."

"You know how to use one gun. That's it. And that's only for emergencies."

I squinted at her. "How many guns do you know how to use? Dale can use it, then. Somebody can. Carl and I did something to help people; to help the group."

She bit her teeth together. "You can't keep going off like that. You're lucky you came back."

...................................................................

I sat on the steps of the RV, next to Dale. Carol stared into the woods and Mom placed her hands on her shoulder, and said something to her that I couldn't make out.

Andrea sped over to Dale. "Where's my gun? You have no right to take it."

Mom hurried to lead me away from the scene.

"Krista, you know I'm right. Right?" Andrea asked her.

Mom bowed her head. "I get where both of you are coming from."

"Both of us?"

"He did just talk you out of..."

"You're not serious, right? You were thinking the same way I was."

Lori walked me near a car in front of them. I watched my feet as I moved them back and forth, and kicked the gravel on the road.

"I chose to walk out of that building," Mom said.

"Because you had Mallory with you. That was the only reason, wasn't it?"

"I just think, maybe you're being a little selfish right now."

Andrea chuckled. "How can you say that? You know how things are. You've seen it."

"I didn't mean it like that. We've lost people too. I have. But you still have Mallory and I. Unless you don't care about us."

"Hey. We don't need to do this now," Shane said.

"Care about you? You think I don't care about you? Because the way I see it, when things went to shit with my family, I was still there for yours."

"If Chris was alive... he'd be telling you the same thing."

"Then you both should seriously reevaluate the way you talk to people."

"No. Because I'm not a self-centered bitch like you."

"Okay, that's enough!" Shane said.

Dale stood in between them. "We're all worn out. Maybe you two just need a rest."

...................................................................

Daryl and Rick returned from the woods with the news that Sophia was still missing.

Carol cried. "She's twelve. She can't be out there on her own. You didn't find anything?" She sat herself on the guardrail, distraught.

"I'll help find her right now. Where should I go?" Mom asked. "If it was my daughter, I'd want someone doing the same thing."

"We'll all look for her," Lori said.

"We need to do it together. Just have to wait awhile. It's gonna be dark soon," Rick said.

Carol tried to catch her breath and looked at Rick. "How could you just leave her out there to begin with? How could you just leave her?"

"Those two walkers were on us. I had to draw them off."

"How is she supposed to find her way back on her own? She's just a child. She's just a child."

I thought about how Sophia was just like me; only maybe a little more scared. I thought about how Phoebe and my dad might be in the same boat she was. Andrea sat down next to Carol, and Mom placed her hand on my shoulder.

"My little girl got left in the woods."

...................................................................

Carl and I sat on the hood of one of the cars.

"Do you think she's alive?" I asked.

"Yeah. We'll find her," he said.

Mom walked over to us. "You kids need to eat."

"All the food here is gross. I'm not hungry," I said.

"Eat. You're gonna need strength for tomorrow. Carl, I think your mom's looking for you," she said.

Carl got himself down from the car, and Mom took his spot. "I'm sorry about earlier. We're all just tired. We've said some things we didn't mean."

"You meant it, though. You've been thinking it for a long time," I said.

"She's been through a lot."

"So have we."

"Yeah, I know. But she's family. I know we've had a rough past, but she loves you. She loves your sister. That's never changed." She handed me a can. "Eat these. You've never tried them. You might like them."

I looked at the image on the can. "Why are they grey?"

"It's just the kind of beans they are. They're fine."

The beans had no flavor; but at the same time, they tasted disgusting. They were squishy and wet, and reminded me of plain milk, which I didn't like either.

...................................................................

The next morning:

As they prepared to go into the woods to look for Sophia, the adults grabbed their guns and weapons.

I turned towards Mom. "You should carry a gun. If I can't carry one, you have to."

She nodded. Dale handed her the gun Mimi gave me.

"You're staying with Dale," Mom said.

"No. I have to go with you," I said.

"It's not safe. I need you to stay here."

"When Dad and Phoebe went missing, we weren't with them. But we were together. And they were together. If they're still alive, it's because they're together. We can't split up. I can go out there and fight," I said.

Mom sighed. "Can you stay where I can see you? At all times? Because based on what you did yesterday, I can't exactly trust you to do that right now."

"Mom, I will."

...................................................................

I held Mom's hand as we squeezed through the branches and trees. Daryl found a tent he thought Sophia could've been in. Shane and Rick went with him to investigate, while the rest of us stayed back. Andrea knelt in front of me. I placed my right fingers on my left wrist. Rick called Carol to look with them. They called for Sophia, but she wasn't there.

The trees rustled ahead of us. The adults pulled out their guns. Two walkers jumped out. Mom and I jumped. Rick and Shane aimed their guns. Daryl stabbed both of them in the head.

"What if those are the same ones that were with Sophia?" Carol asked.

"We don't know that, Carol," Shane said.

The woods rustled again. A walker launched out at Mom and grabbed her shoulder. She laid her head back, stared straight ahead, and screamed. Andrea held me back.

I grabbed her arm frantically and pulled it like rope. Tears shot out of my eyes. "Mom!"

"You've got to stay strong. You've got to stay strong. I love you." She sunk to the ground.

...................................................................

Andrea carried me as we travelled farther in the woods. Church bells rang in the distance. We followed the sound, thinking it could've been a sign of Sophia.

We arrived at a cemetery and ran to the entrance of the church. I stayed with Carol, Lori, and Carl while the others cleared the walkers out of it. The bells were on a timer. Sophia wasn't ringing them.

I sat in the church pew and stared at the big metal crucifix that was covered in blood. "God, I don't know if you can hear me. I think you can." I held my clammy fingers together, folding them into prayer. "Please help my Mom get to Heaven. She wasn't Catholic, but she was a good person. Please watch over Phoebe and Dad. Help them get back. It seems like everyone's dying. I don't know how I'm gonna make it without my mom..." Tears itched my cheek and I closed my eyes. "I'm scared. Everyone's telling me to be strong, but I can't. If I'm gonna die, please help me go easy. So it doesn't hurt. So I'm not sad. I just don't want it to be scary."

...................................................................

After about an hour of resting in the church, we sat on a log and waited for directions about how to find Sophia. Rick and Shane talked in private.

Shane walked towards us. "Y'all gonna follow the creek bed back, okay? Daryl, you're in charge."

Carl stood up. "I wanna stay too. I'm her friend."

"I wanna go too," I said.

Andrea walked over to me. "Are you sure you wanna go?"

I nodded.

She nodded back, sympathetic. "Okay. I'll be with them if you need me."

Rick and Shane led us through the woods. A deer stepped out from the trees. It stared right at us. It didn't get scared and run away. It shook its body, and its head. It had the kind of horns I thought only reindeer had. Carl followed it, and I tiptoed behind him. A loud boom knocked him to the ground.

Chapter 6: Childproof

Tears chilled my face and sweat stuck to my back as I sat on the counter. My legs ached and felt like they were going to fall off. I closed my eyes, and my back trembled as I exhaled. I blacked out. I brought myself back. "I—is Carl gonna die?"

"We're gonna do everything we can, honey, okay?" When the woman finished scanning me for scratches, cuts, or bites, she handed me a glass of water. "My name's Maggie."

My arm shook, and I almost dropped the glass. I held it close to my mouth and felt sick to my stomach. "My mom just died. Carl's gonna die..." My brain didn't register the words that left my mouth.

I pushed myself off the counter when I heard Carl scream from the other room.

The strangers circled around the bed as Carl sobbed in agony.

The old man looked to Shane. "You! Hold him down."

Shane knelt by the side of the bed and held Carl down by his chest. His stomach was opened, and blood sat on top of it. The old man scraped his insides. Carl's cry for help was continuous. I tried to move away from the door, but my legs locked in place. I was conscious, but as good as blacked out, and the scene knocked the wind out of me. Maggie placed her hand on the top of my head, then moved to the bed to help.

"STOP! YOU'RE KILLING HIM!" Rick shouted.

"Rick! Do you want him to live?"

"He needs blood," Maggie said.

"DO IT NOW!" Shane yelled.

The old woman stuck a needle in Rick's arm. Carl went quiet, then fell asleep.

Shane shook his head and tapped Carl's arm. "Wait, what, is he?"

"He just passed out." The old man used a metal tool to pull a tiny bullet fragment out of him. "One down. Five to go."

...................................................................

That night:

The Monopoly board and cards were laid on the table. I pretended like I knew the instructions; but was tired and slow. I leaned my face into my fist. "If we're all gonna die, what's the point?"

"We're not gonna die," Glenn said. "We've lost people. A lot of them. People important to us. But we can't give up. Things are scary now, but we keep fighting, because they didn't get to. Your mom told you to be strong. You've gotta stand by that. We could be the ones to see when things get better."

"Does Andrea even know about Carl?" I asked.

"She knew finding Sophia was important to your mom. That's why she's out there. She knows you're safe. She asked me to keep an eye on you, so that's what I'm gonna do."

...................................................................

The next morning:

I crossed my legs on the chair by the kitchen table, and drank a glass of tea that Patricia, the old woman and accidental shooter's wife made. It was bitter, but the thought of water bored me. The shooter was named Otis. He stepped up and accepted the blame, and went out with Shane the night before to get medical supplies. Shane came back, but a walker attacked Otis on the run. Patricia tried to keep herself busy so she wouldn't go mad.

The front door opened.

"Mallory?"

I didn't respond.

"Mallory, honey?" Andrea walked into the kitchen. "Oh, thank God."

I crossed my arms and wouldn't take my eyes off the table. "So I guess Sophia's more important than me."

"What?"

"My mom just died yesterday. Then my friend got shot, pretty soon after. He could die. He probably will. You didn't maybe wanna be here with me, for that?"

She was silent.

"Don't act like you care about me."

...................................................................

The lamp on the night-stand shone in the dark room. I sat beside Carl's bed and folded my hands on my lap. "You have to get better, Carl. You have to. After all the people that... You were always there, after Phoebe and my dad weren't, when Andrea wasn't. For a while after my mom... The only thing that's always been there was you. I don't have anyone else. We need to fight, I know that. But I can't do that without you."

...................................................................

2 days later:

I dug into the mud with my fingers. The tall grass itched my legs and gave them red spots. Carl sat next to me, and the chickens clucked inside the barn shed behind us. I unwrapped a Mounds bar, and Carl tore a piece off of it.

"Did you think I wasn't gonna make it?" he asked.

"Everything that's happened... it's like my mind's starting to react less and less to stuff. I don't wanna say I've gotten used to things... but maybe I have. I'm never gonna see Phoebe and my dad again, even if they're alive. I know that now. With everyone else, it was quick. It was done. After my aunt, I learned not to even guess about it. But with you, seeing you on the bed, still breathing after you were shot... When Hershel kept trying to save you but couldn't say whether or not it would work... It drove me crazy not knowing. It kept lingering on and on. I knew I couldn't lose you, but waiting to hear whether or not I would... it was hard."

"I never got to tell you that I'm sorry about your mom. I was fine, I am now. We are gonna find your dad and Phoebe. We're gonna find Sophia too. We're gonna stay here. We're your family now."

...................................................................

I laid in the hammock near the tree and was still enough to keep it steady.

Andrea walked over to me. "Sit up. We should be safe here, but in case something comes, you need to be at the right angle."

I ignored her and kept swinging.

"How do you feel about going to gun training with us? Maybe even owning one?" she asked.

I stared into the empty sky that was dark enough not to blind me. "It's necessary. So I will."

"Carl's going with us. He'll protect you," she said, poking fun at me.

...................................................................

The next day:

I sat at the table next to Carl, Rick, and Lori, in front of the big tree. Carol cooked us eggs and sausage over the fire. Andrea sharpened her knife.

Glenn stood in front of us and hesitated. "Um, guys... so..."

We stared at him and waited for him to spit it out.

"The barn is full of walkers."

...................................................................

Shane ran to the porch. He carried a stash of guns, and handed one to each of the adults. Carl and I hurried down the steps. 

Lori stepped in front of Shane to stop him. "Rick said no guns, this is not your call. This is not your decision to make."

"Give Mallory a gun. She needs one," Andrea told him.

I took the gun with both hands.

T-Dog looked out into the distance. "Oh, shit."

Hershel, Jimmy, and Rick had walkers attached to poles, and walked them like dogs on a leash. Shane ran towards them. Lori held Carl and I back, while the rest of the adults followed him. Shane yelled at Rick and Hershel, trying to stop the parade. The fighting escalated. Lori, Carl, and I ran towards the group.

"Talk about what, Rick?" Shane said. "These things ain't sick. They're not people. They're dead! Ain't gotta feel nothing for them 'cause all they do, they kill! These things right here, they're the things that killed Amy! That killed Krista! They killed Otis! They're gonna kill all of us." He pulled out his gun. "Hey Hershel man, let me ask you something. Could a living, breathing person, could they walk away from this?" He shot the walker attached to Hershel's pole. The walker swung back, unaffected.

"Stop it!" Rick yelled.

"That's three rounds in the chest. Could someone who's alive, could they just take that? Why is it still coming?" He shot it again. "That's its heart, its lungs. Why is it still coming?!"

I ran to Glenn and Maggie. Maggie looked at the ground, unable to watch. She moved me behind her.

"Shane, enough!" Rick yelled.

"Yeah, you're right, man. That is enough." Shane moved close enough to the walker to shoot it in the head. It finally stopped. "Enough risking our lives for a little girl who's gone! Enough living next to a barn full of things that are trying to kill us! Now if y'all wanna live, if you wanna survive, you've gotta fight for it! I'm talking about fighting right here, right now." He ran towards the barn and banged against the door with his axe.

"No, Shane. Do not do this, brother! Wait!" Rick yelled. "Please! This is not the way! Please!"

"Don't do it!" Glenn yelled.

"Rick!" Lori yelled.

The door opened, and the walkers fled through. One with blue overalls was the first to walk out. Andrea ran to the front of the barn with her gun, and Daryl and T-Dog followed. The walkers' heads splattered like paint cans.

"Maggie..." Glenn cried.

Maggie cried and gave him a nod. "It's okay."

He ran to help. I got my gun ready and began to follow him.

Maggie grabbed me. "No! Stay here."

The gunshots turned into an explosion. The walkers stopped coming. Shane turned his head to look at Rick. Maggie held onto Hershel's shoulders and cried as he stared in shock.

They aimed their guns again. I recognized Sophia's tennis shoes. She bowed her head, covered her face, then stared at us, scrunching her face and growling. Her eyes were dimmed out. Her skin was pale and brownish from dirt. Blood was speckled on her face and shoulders. Carol ran for her and cried her name, and Daryl caught her. Rick moved closer to her and aimed his gun. Maggie covered my eyes. A gunshot sounded.

Chapter 7: Jurisprudence

Sophia, or what used to be, laid face-down on the dirt. Thin, ratted hair covered the blood on her face. I sat with my legs crossed in front of her.

Andrea evened out a blanket and covered her with it. "We'll pray for her. Pray she gets to Heaven. I know she will. She was such a sweetheart."

I stared at the covered body. "What if I die like her? What if Phoebe did?"

"You've gotta be brave. You know how to use a gun, and that's a good thing. She didn't. God gave us tools to keep us safe. But we've gotta meet Him halfway. These things... they're curses from Satan, and God wants us to protect ourselves from them. Your mom would be so proud of you. After everything that's happened, you didn't get weak. You grew stronger."

I questioned whether what she said was bullshit. "How do you know God's real after this?"

"Of course He is. I think I've changed for the worse because of everything. And I'm sorry for all of it. But I think you've changed for the better."

...................................................................

I sat in the living room chair, and Carl sat in the one beside me.

"Sophia didn't know how to survive yet," he said. "She was scared. Which is why we can't be. Shane did the right thing. Walkers aren't people. We need to be as strong as him and my dad."

"So Sophia's not a person anymore?"

"If a walker headed towards you, or my parents, or Shane, I'd shoot it. Even if it was Sophia."

"What if we can't stop it?"

"We need to know how to take care of ourselves. Sophia waited for help, but it never came. We need to be able to take care of ourselves. So if we're ever alone, we'd be okay."

...................................................................

The next morning:

Carl and I spent the night in the RV. Hershel went missing the night before. Beth went into shock and was put on bedrest. We were told soon after to stay in the RV and not come in the house. I knew Maggie was stressed due to her and Beth's father being missing, that Beth tried to kill herself, and that Lori and Andrea yelled at each other, but the adults tried to shield us from seeing anything else. When Rick and Glenn went to find Hershel, they returned with a hostage they found on the road. The group decided to keep him as a prisoner in the barn.

I laid my head on the table, unable to have gotten much sleep the night before.

Carl stood near the cabinets. "I'm gonna sneak in there, see the guy for myself."

I lifted my head and squinted at him.

"You don't have to go, you can stay here."

"This is gonna end badly, Carl," I said.

I sat in the back of the truck; within seeing distance from the barn. Andrea kept watch outside the barn with Shane, making sure the hostage didn't escape.

"You comfortable in there? How about you go in the house? We got things covered. Thank you for keeping an extra eye out, though," she told me.

"What are you gonna do with the guy?" I asked.

She said something to Shane, then walked up to me. "Well, I think he's dangerous and we should get rid of him. He shouldn't be here, with the chance of putting you, or any of us in danger. But the adults are gonna have a meeting later to vote on it. And you can listen in if you want."

...................................................................

Maggie and Hershel sat beside me on the couch. The rest of the group stood around us, except for Carl, because Lori didn't allow him to join the meeting.

"If anybody wants the floor before we make a final decision, now's the chance," Rick said.

I took a deep breath. "He's a threat. And we have to get rid of threats."

Dale shook his head. "What are we teaching the kids? What are we teaching them, for them to vouch for killing an innocent man?"

"I have just as much to say as everybody else," I said.

...................................................................

It was dark. I stood next to Carl, behind the barn door that was cracked open.

"It's all gonna be over soon. Relax."

The man cried and pleaded. Shane shushed him. Rick prepared his gun. Daryl stood in front of the hostage with confidence.

"Would you like to stand or kneel?" Rick asked him.

Shane kicked the sobbing man to his knees and nodded at Rick.

"Do you have any final words?" Rick asked.

Carl moved in front of the door. "Do it, Dad. Do it."

Shane held his arms down by his sides and stomped over to us. "What are you doing here? Are you kidding me? What did I say to you?"

Rick stared at us in silence, then moved the gun away from the man's face. "Take him away."

Shane banged against the barn door in frustration.

Rick led Carl and I back to the tents.

Maggie stood in front of me and looked at Rick. "Where'd she go?"

"They followed us," he said.

Andrea stood in front of Maggie and bowed to my level. "Why'd you do that without telling me first? I didn't know where you were." She looked at Rick. "Did she see you kill him?"

"No, I... I didn't kill him."

"What?"

Maggie took my hand. "Let's go inside."

When we reached the porch, a scream sounded from the field.

"What was that? What happened? What happened?" Glenn yelled.

"I don't know, go!" Maggie yelled.

"Help! Over here! Help! Run!"

My face heated, and I turned towards Maggie. "Is that Daryl? Where's Andrea?"

We ran towards the field. Dale laid in the middle of the grass. His stomach was torn open. He gurgled, and his gaze was stuck towards the sky.

"We have to do the operation here. Glenn, get back to the house," Rick said.

Hershel shook his head. "Rick..."

"No!"

I cried onto Andrea's shoulder. Dale groaned in pain. He couldn't make eye contact anymore and didn't understand what was going on.

Andrea sobbed and held my face with her hands. "He's suffering. Do something!"

Daryl stood over him and lifted his gun. "Sorry, brother."

The gunshot caused a moment of deafness and a pain in my ears.

Chapter 8: Flee

I held my face in my palms and caught my tears. Panic attacks kept me up the night before.

Carl stood by the door. "Is it your mom or what happened last night?"

"Both," I said. "We're all gonna wind up like them. We're losing too many people. We're not gonna be able to come back from it."

He was silent for a moment. "It's my fault he's gone. I saw the walker who killed him, and I did nothing about it. I didn't kill it when I should've."

"It's not your fault, Carl. We all thought we could rest here, that this place could be safe. Then something happened. It always will. There's no escaping it. The people telling us to have hope are gonna lose it themselves. Dale cared about us. He helped take care of us when nobody else could. But he had hope; and now he's gone."

...................................................................

The front door swung open as the group brought their bags into the house.

Andrea pat my head. "I'm taking the corner over there. You can sleep on that couch next to me."

"Maggie said I could sleep in her room," I said.

She walked into the kitchen. "You gave her a room before asking me first?" she asked Maggie.

"I'm just trying to help you," Maggie said.

"Help me?"

"Do you have any idea how many times she's had to ask where you were? Her mom died, and you left her. Carl got shot, and you weren't here. You were sitting on top of the RV with a bottle of wine, like you're above it all, but you're not."

Andrea scoffed. "If you had any idea about the shit I've been through—"

"You were gone too many times. She's been through enough. You asked Glenn to keep an eye on her. Maybe that was supposed to stop when you got here. But it didn't. You wanna watch after her, start acting like it."

...................................................................

I tossed and turned in the bed and stared into the dark room, unable to close my eyes. I heard the door of Lori and Carl's room open, and someone walk downstairs. I slid out of bed and tried not to wake Maggie up. I cracked open the door, walked into Carl's room, and laid next to him.

When I opened my eyes, he wasn't there. I ran down the stairs. "I don't know where Carl is. He must've gotten out when I was asleep."

"What?" Lori asked before running up the stairs.

Most of the adults were outside.

Andrea saw me from out the door and hurried to me. "It's gonna be okay."

I tilted my head at her, then moved closer to the window. At least fifty walkers were headed straight towards us, towards the barn.

My heart dropped in my chest. "What are we gonna do?"

"Stay inside. We're gonna shoot them away."

Lori ran down the stairs frantically, saying she couldn't find Carl.

Andrea hurried out the door.

"I need to go with you!" I said.

She turned towards me and shook her head.

"I can't stand by while this is happening! I have to see it! I have to help!"

...................................................................

The porch was crowded with most of the group. I measured the distance from the start of the closest walkers to the two trees on the left side of the barn. They were getting closer. Maggie handed out guns to everyone, except me.

"I know how to shoot. Let me," I said.

Andrea kissed my forehead. "No. It's dark, not this time. Be our set of eyes, okay? I need you to stay here with Lori."

I teared up. "I wanna come with you."

Maggie knelt in front of me. "We'll be back for you, okay?"

Glenn pat my shoulder. "We'll be back soon."

...................................................................

I paced around the living room. The gunshots were continuous. Beth and Patricia moved the blinds to look out the window. Orange light shone through.

"The barn's on fire," Beth said.

"They're headed for it," Patricia said.

I stopped in my tracks. My chest tightened. I ran up the stairs and entered Carl's room. His binoculars sat on the windowsill. I aimed them towards the barn. Walkers huddled together outside it, surrounded by the fire. Fifty became a hundred. I squeezed my eyes shut and clenched my fists. A yell erupted through my chest, making my back shake. Tears fled over my cheeks and I pointed my head towards the ceiling.

"Mallory!"

...................................................................

I almost slipped on the mud. The fire warmed me, and I smelled the smoke from the leaves. Maggie held my hand and ran beside me. Glenn waved his arms outside the green car.

"The others are still there!" I yelled.

Hershel stood on the porch and continued to shoot the walkers.

Maggie attempted to get his attention. "Dad?! Dad!"

"Come on!" Glenn yelled.

...................................................................

I held onto the back of the passenger's seat as the swerving of the car jerked me around. Walkers piled on top of the windshield and grabbed the side windows.

"I can't get through," Maggie cried.

Glenn was silent for a minute. "Head out."

"What?"

"Get off the farm, now."

A thud sounded against my window. Walkers tried to break the glass with their hands. One of their faces moved into the center, and they tried to grasp the outside. I protected my head with my hands and ducked. Maggie screamed. The car moved backwards.

...................................................................

We drove through the woods away from the farm.

"What if Carl winds up like Sophia?" I asked.

"He won't," Glenn said.

"No one knew where he was --"

"He'll be fine," he said. "Let's just circle back to the highway."

"We need to go back for the others. I thought they could still defend it... We need to go back for them. Did they make it?" Maggie cried.

"I don't know," Glenn said.

"Patricia, Jimmy... What if they didn't make it? What if nobody made it?"

"They made it, okay? They had to."

...................................................................

We arrived at the jam of cars, where we used to leave supplies for Sophia. Hershel and Rick smiled at us as we pulled in. Carl ran towards the car and I opened the door to meet him.

I hugged him. "Where'd you go?"

"I went to find my dad," he said.

"We're supposed to stick together. I could've gone with you."

"Where's the rest of us?" Daryl asked.

"We're the only ones who made it so far," Rick said.

I looked around. "Where's Andrea?"

"She saved me, then I lost her," Carol said.

"We saw her go down." T-Dog leaned against one of the cars, and gave a look of sympathy.

Lori asked about Shane, and Rick said he didn't make it out either. Beth cried onto Hershel's shoulder over the loss of Jimmy and Patricia, who died too. My eyes became blurry, and Maggie wrapped her arm around me.

"I'm gonna go back," Daryl said.

"No," Rick said.

"We can't just leave her."

"We don't even know if she's there," Lori said.

"She isn't there. She isn't. She's somewhere else, or she's dead. There's no way to find her," Rick said.

"So we're not even gonna look for her?" Glenn asked.

"We gotta keep moving. There have been walkers crawling all over here."

"We need to go back and find my aunt. We can't just drive away without her!" I cried.

"It's not safe. I'm sorry."

...................................................................

I smoothed the crinkly leaves in between my fingers. The fire did its best to keep us warm, but even though I wore a thick jacket, I couldn't stop shivering. My stomach hurt from hunger. Crickets chirped in between the bushes and howling sounded, probably from an owl. It was too dark to see more than a few feet beyond us.

"We need to leave. What are we waiting for?" Carol asked.

"The last thing we need is for everyone to be running off in the dark," Rick said. "We don't have the vehicles. No one's travelling on foot."

"Don't panic," Hershel said.

"I'm not," Maggie said. "I'm not sitting here, waiting for another herd to blow through."

Rick scrunched his face. "No one is going anywhere."

"Do something," Carol told him.

"I am doing something! I'm keeping this group together, alive. I've been doing that all along, no matter what. I didn't ask for this! I killed my best friend for you people, for Christ's sake!"

The leaves fell out of my hand, and my mouth opened wide. Rick killed Shane.

"You saw what he was like. How he pushed me. How he compromised us. How he threatened us. He gave me no choice! He was my friend, but he came after me. My hands are clean."

Carl sobbed. Lori rocked him in her arms.

"Maybe you people are better off without me. Go ahead. I say there's a place for us, but maybe — maybe it's just another pipe-dream. Maybe I'm fooling myself again. Why don't you — why don't you go out there and find out yourself? Send me a postcard. Go on. There's the door. You can do better? Let's see how far you get. No takers? Fine. But get one thing straight. You're staying, this isn't a democracy anymore."

Everyone was silent. They stared at Rick with more fear than they've ever looked at a walker with. Could we still trust him? Would he get us killed? Would he kill us himself? If we lost our leader, we'd have to fend for ourselves.

Chapter 9: Innocent Killer

7 months on the road:

I placed my weight against the abandoned house's railing. I held the kneecaps of my shaky legs and closed my eyes. Carl opened the door from the inside. 

"Is it clear?" I asked.

He smiled and nodded. 

The worn-down house looked like the inside of a damp cardboard box. Its cabinets and shelves were cluttered with mason jars, glasses, and cans. After searching for food, the group sat to catch our breath. Carl found dog food cans, and laid them in front of him, and used a can-opener to screw off the tops. He handed me a half-open one, and I frowned. Rick picked up one of the cans, examined its sides, and threw it into the fireplace. 

Lori rubbed her belly and scraped through a jar of peanut butter. She tilted it towards me. 

I shook my head. "You need it for the baby."

"Mallory, you need to eat. You've been passing out," my dad said from the chair behind me. 

Daryl defeathered an owl. He pulled off a piece of it and walked over to me, holding the flap with his fingers. "Protein. Eat it, now."

"Psst," T-Dog said.

Walkers headed towards the window. They stalked us from the outside and chased us down as we tried to get settled. I picked up my sleeping bag and gun. We ran through the bushes that surrounded the side of the house and drove away.

...................................................................

We were stopped in the middle of the road, so we could look over the map and come up with a plan. Carl and I stood between the sides of the woods and kept watch. My hollow stomach stung every few seconds, but I had gotten used to hunger. Carl turned his head quickly from one side to the next, with his gun by his side. 

"Do you think we're ever gonna find a place again?" I asked.

He was silent for a moment, then sighed. "With all the looking we've done, we have to."

...................................................................

The prison stood behind the trees ahead of us. Its tower hovered over the brownish buildings, and the clear sky hung behind. The group stood side-by-side on the road, admiring the building that gave us the chance to stop running, to stop looking, and to stop fighting for a while. I held Carl's sweaty hand. My parents turned their heads from the prison to me, with a smile. Walkers crowded the inside, but we knew that we could take them.

"It's perfect," Rick said.

After entering the first gate, he broke us into different groups, each with a different job to help clear it. 

I grabbed the holes of the fence with my fingers, and stabbed the closest walkers' heads with one straight, forward motion. Gunshots from further back sounded one by one. Carl was assigned to clear them from the tower with Carol. I cleared my throat and made sure my voice could reach the ones that circled back near them. "Hey, motherfuckers! Hey!"

Mom poked her spear through the fence beside me. "Watch your mouth."

...................................................................

After the outside of the prison was successfully cleared, the adults cleared the inside. Carl and I entered our cell, which would become our room. It smelled like old coins and burned plastic.

I placed my bag on the floor. "I take the top bunk and you take the bottom?"

"Yeah, when are parents are looking," he said. 

I smiled. "Shut up."

I stared at the grey walls that were covered with dirt spots. "I never thought I'd say that a prison was a place I'd wanna live in, but here we are."

"Hey, we're gonna be okay," he said.

I exhaled. "Yeah, we could be."

A loud thud sounded. "Open the door!" Rick yelled.

Carl and I ran towards him. My parents helped him push a metal table through the door, and yelled through their sweat and tears. I stared in shock, before I realized that the bloody body was my grandpa. One of his legs was gone, and blood gushed from it. He was unconscious. 

Lori ran to help push him. "What happened?" 

"He got bit," Rick said.

...................................................................

I sat on the bottom bunk of my cell and played with my hands. Mom wiped her tears as she stood outside my door. 

"Is he gonna be okay?" I asked.

She forced a smile to try to reassure me. "They're working on him." 

"I don't know how we can lose him, but we'd have to be okay if we did," I said. "That's what he'd want for us." 

She closed her eyes and sighed. 

"I'd have to be okay without you too. We have to make it okay for ourselves, like you said. Even if we're the last man standing."

...................................................................

2 Days Later:

Lori and Aunt Beth stood by my grandpa's side and helped him get up from the bed.

He tapped his crutches against the floor and made a knocking sound. "You know, I think I'm pretty steady."

"That's a good start. Want to take a rest?" Lori asked.

"Rest? Let's go for a little stroll," he said.

After we walked him down the steps outside the prison, Dad cheered for us by the gate. Mom helped unload the cars, and I yelled to get her attention. She placed her hand on her forehead to block the sun and smiled. 

"Ready to race, Hershel?" Carl asked.

"Give me another day. I'll take you on," Grandpa said. 

I watched my shoes kick the trash on the ground and held my arms in an attempt to stay warm. 

"Walkers! Look out!" Carl yelled.

A herd fled through the sides of the building and came from every direction. My chest tightened, and I jumped onto the bleachers. I stood in the middle of them and positioned my gun. In a panic, I shot the walkers ahead as fast as I could, but was unable to focus on every area of sight. Mom ran to open the cellblock door and shot at the walkers in front of me. 

Lori ran to the side of the bleachers and reached out her hand. "Mallory, you've got this step. Come on, sweetie." 

Inside of the prison, Mom led us to a place to hide. We ran towards the cells, but walkers fled from the door that led to them. My sneakers scraped across the floor, and I almost slipped as we turned around. Walkers chased our backs, and Mom and Lori were behind us, ready to push us if we didn't run fast enough. 

When we reached the top of the stairs, a dull siren sounded that was loud enough to fill the prison. 

Lori pushed against the wall and bowed her head. "Something's not right."

"Are you bit?" Carl asked.

"I think the baby's coming."

...................................................................

The boiler room looked like a factory with its pipes, screws, and nobs. 

"Where's that alarm coming from?" Carl asked.

"Rick will stop it," I said.

Lori laid on the floor and was zoned out from the pain. "I'm not gonna make it." 

Mom checked her. "Lori, with all this blood, I don't even think you're fully dilated yet. No amount of pushing is gonna help."

"I know what it means." She took a deep breath. "And I'm not losing my baby. You've gotta cut me open."

My posture tightened, and a chill ran through my back. The cool air made my mouth dry as it locked open. I stared straight at them, barely able to register, and froze. 

Carl ran in the other direction. "I'll go for help."

"No!" Lori yelled. "Carl, is that a knife?" She asked him as he stood near the door.

"You won't survive," Mom told her.

"My baby has to survive. Please. My baby... for all of us."

Mom shook her head.

"Please, Maggie! Please!"

I knelt in front of her. "I'll help you."

Lori took my hand and showed me the scar on her stomach. "You see that? You have to cut against that, okay?"

Tears welled in my eyes. "You won't survive?"

She held my hand tight and gave me a stern look. "Mallory, you can do this. You need to be strong, okay? Help your mom. Don't think about —"

Carl sat beside us and started to cry. "You don't have to do this."

She smiled at him. "You're gonna be fine. You are gonna beat this world. I know you will. You are smart, and you are strong, and you are so brave. And I love you." She placed her hand on his face. "You gotta do what's right, baby. You promise me you'll always do what's right. It's so easy to do the wrong thing in this world. So if it feels wrong, don't do it, alright? If it feels easy, don't do it. Don't let the world spoil you. You're so good. You're my sweet boy. You're the best thing I ever did. And I love you."

My tears blinded me. My whole body shook, and I almost collapsed. I turned to Mom and reached for her. "I can't do it." 

She opened my hand to take the knife from me.

Lori took a deep breath and prepared herself. "Good night, love."

...................................................................

Mom took the baby outside. Lori's body laid on the floor, and I stood next to Carl as he stared at it. Blood stained her shirt. Her face was turned towards the side, her eyes covered by her hair. Carl hesitated, struggling with his gun in his hand. 

"Carl, it has to be you," I said. "I would've done it for my first mom, she would've wanted me to. I was strong for her, and I know that now. She tried to be, but after Phoebe and my dad, it was like she gave up on the whole world. I knew it was gonna happen sooner or later and there was nothing I could do to stop it. She chose to live for me, until she couldn't anymore. My aunt used to tell me that sometimes we need to be the better person. That sometimes we have to be the brave ones, because we were made for this world. That we can see these things, we can do these things, without losing ourselves like they did. When your dad told us we're all infected, that no matter how we die, we'll end up as one of those things, I couldn't stop thinking about how no one put my mom down. We just left her. And I didn't know if she was still out in the woods, or if she made it to the farm and we didn't see her, if she had something to do with Sophia... She didn't just die. It made every part of it so much worse. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. Your mom would want you to make sure that she goes the way that she should. So she won't hurt other people that are just like us. So you don't have to wonder where she is, so she can go peacefully. So she doesn't help destroy the world. This is the way she has to go, and it has to be you."

I leaned against the wall outside the boiler room. I squeezed my eyes shut and my heart pounded, until the bullet fled the gun.

Chapter 10: Intruders

I stood in my cell and rocked Judith in my arms, hushing her as she cried.

Carl sat on the edge of the bottom bunk and stared at the floor. "I killed her." 

"No," I said. "My mom did. I was supposed to, but I couldn't. She did it because she loved her. You did what you had to do, because you love her too. We have to be ready to do that for any one of us."

"When you said this prison could be a home, did you really mean that?" he asked. 

"We made it. Through a lot. All of us did, together. We made it to a place to sleep, to a place where there's food and water. It is. It's just not with all the people who deserved one." 

Dad stood by the door and bowed his head. I handed Judith to Carl and went to meet him. He held a packet in the palm of his hand.

"What is that?" I asked. 

"Lily flower seeds. They used to give them to the prisoners to plant, as one of their outdoor activities in the spring. You can plant them while we're gone."

I tilted my head. 

"We need more ammo, and formula for the baby. Mom and I are going on a run to get it." 

"I can go with you," I said. 

"No. Keep an eye on Carl and the baby. You're his best friend, he needs you right now. We'll be back." 

...................................................................

The next morning:

The slamming of the main door woke me up. I watched Aunt Beth run to the entrance and got up to follow them. 

Rick stood over the woman they brought in. "Steady now."

I moved closer to get a better look at her and kept my gun close. Blood was smeared on her neck, and she breathed heavily as she struggled to sit up. 

Rick stared at her and tried to get her to focus. "Who are you?" 

She grabbed for her sword that laid ahead of her.

Rick held her down. "We're not gonna hurt you, unless you try something stupid first." He asked her repeatedly who she was, with no real response. 

She stared at us like an angry hawk, giving a look of intimidation. 

...................................................................

I paced in circles in front of the woman, keeping my distance, with my fingers on my gun in my pocket. Daryl held his crossbow as close to her face as it would go. 

"You're gonna have to tell us how you found us. And why you were carrying formula," Rick said. 

She bit her lip and sighed. "The supplies were dropped by a young Asian guy with a pretty girl." 

I held my face and pointed my head towards the ceiling. "Oh, God." 

"What happened?" Rick asked. 

"Were they attacked?" Grandpa asked. 

"They were taken."

"Taken? By who?" Rick asked.

"By the same son of a bitch who shot me." 

Rick bent down in front of her. "Hey, these are our people. You tell us what happened now!" He touched her gunshot wound. 

"Don't you ever touch me again!" She bit her teeth together fiercely. 

Daryl moved his crossbow closer. "You're gonna have a much bigger problem than a gunshot wound."

"You'd better start talking," Rick said. 

"Find them yourself." 

Grandpa put his hands on my shoulder and moved me farther away from the scene. 

"Tell us where they are!" I said. 

She shook as she tried to stand up. 

"You came here for a reason," Rick told her. 

She rolled her eyes. "There's a town. Woodbury. About seventy-five survivors. I think they were taken there. It's run by this guy who calls himself the Governor." 

"You know a way in?" Rick asked. 

"The place is secure from walkers, but we could slip our way through." 

Rick was silent for a minute as he contemplated. He pointed to Grandpa. "This is Hershel, the father of the girl who was taken. He'll take care of that." He pointed to her wound. 

I moved closer and knelt directly in front of her. "You gonna tell me your name?" 

She stared straight back at me. "Michonne."

...................................................................

I sat on my bed and loaded my backpack with one of my shirts and a pair of black leggings, a pack of saltine crackers, and a water bottle. Daryl walked through my door and sat across from me.

I continued to pack. "We don't know how long we'll be out there."

He tilted his head slightly and waited for me to pick up on what he didn't want to say. 

"You can't stop me from going. They're my parents. If I had the chance to save my first mom or my aunt, I'd take it. I can't stay back while something else happens."

"What Michonne said is out there..." He shook his head and gave a look of sympathy. "Your parents wouldn't want you someplace that ain't safe. We'll bring them back. But you've gotta stay here."

...................................................................

Michonne sat on the table and held gauze to her wound. I sat in front of her and focused on the numbers "343" that I drew on my wrist.

Grandpa sat in the corner. "Mallory, careful. You're not a piece of paper," he said. 

Michonne examined my wrist. "What does that mean?" 

"Three letters in 'I'll', four letters in 'find', and three letters in 'you.' My mom made it up after we lost my dad and sister. I've been using it for my aunt too since I lost her. Guess I can use it for my second parents now too..." 

Michonne stared at me for a moment and squinted. 

"The man and woman you saw on the road, they're my second parents. They became my parents after my first mom died and my aunt couldn't take care of me. That's what this group does. We do what the others couldn't."

She continued to squint at me, like she was still confused. 

"What?" I asked. 

She shook her head, implying that it was nothing. "Your glasses, have they stayed on this whole time?" 

"No, but I've still got 'em. What happened to you, after everything happened?" 

"I was on the road awhile, with a friend I found in the woods. I didn't know her before. Things weren't easy out there. We chained walkers to trees so we could sleep and almost burned from the cold, among other things. But we made it together. Then we got to Woodbury. At first we thought it was safe. But sometimes places can be more dangerous than what's outside 'em." 

Judith started to cry. I stood up, about to go calm her down. "These strangers saved my life. We'll save your life too. But this family, we defend each other against anything. And if we had to, we'd defend ourselves against you too."

...................................................................

Nighttime: 

I sat on the steps next to Aunt Beth and Carl, and we reloaded our pistols. A dull scream, almost like a howl, sounded from far back.

"What was that?" my aunt asked. 

"That was from inside," Grandpa said. 

"Was that Carol?" Carl asked. 

"She's out keeping watch in the guard tower with Axel."

"What if they're in trouble?" my aunt asked. "How could anyone else get in?" 

"The tombs are filled with walkers that wandered from outside. Someone could have done the same thing." 

The screaming continued on a loop. Carl hurried to grab his pistol and walk off the steps.

Grandpa lifted his crutch to block him. "I can't let you go down there." 

"My father would go," he said. 

I pressed on the stairs to stand up. "I'm going with him." 

"No," my aunt and grandpa said in unison. 

"I'm not just sitting here. I have to help too."

...................................................................

Carl shone his flashlight through the dark tunnel to guide us, and I aimed my pistol. White grime covered the floor and dead bodies laid flat in the corners, and I was almost made sick. The scream got louder as we moved closer to it. We reached the boiler room again. Carl slowed and bowed his head. 

"You don't have to go in there," I told him. 

A walker hurried to us from behind. I pulled my trigger back, killing it with one bullet. 

After we walked through the entrance of the boiler room, we found the group of strangers. A man slashed the walkers that circled them with his axe. The screaming woman was cradled by her husband. Her teenage son paced in circles and cried. Another woman fought over a shovel with a walker until she won. We stood in front of them, and they stopped to stare right at us. 

"Come on! Hurry!" Carl yelled. 

I ran straight back, taking the lead.

The woman was too heavy for the man to carry, and he fell to the floor. "Go! Just go!" 

"I'll cover you," the other woman said before she killed the walkers in front of us with her shovel. 

I helped Carl shoot the rest of them. 

"You have to leave her," Carl said. 

They insisted on not letting her go, even though she was slowing us down. 

...................................................................

I opened the door of the biggest cellblock. The strangers laid the woman down on the floor. Her gaze was stuck, and her lips were parted.

"DONNA!" the man yelled. "Is she dead?" 

"I'll take care of it," Carl said as he reached for his gun. 

"Who the hell are you?" the other woman asked. "How'd you get in here? Who are you with?" 

I yanked out my pistol and aimed it at the dead woman's head. The strangers scolded me and told me they take care of their own. I exited the block. My grandpa stood and watched them, and my aunt ran to help Carl and I lock them inside. 

"Did you just lock us in here?" the man with the blue beanie asked.

"This room is secure," Carl said. "You'll be safe. You have food and water." 

The woman stood close to the bars and became aggressive. "Open this door." 

"I can't," Carl said. 

"Come on, man. We're not animals. Don't do this," she looked to my grandpa. "HEY! You can't just leave us in here! Open this door! Open it! Now!" 

Judith started to cry, and I went to grab her. 

I stood in front of them with her in my arms. "We can't trust you yet. You're a threat, so you're locked up. We didn't kill you. Be thankful for that." 

"Shouldn't we help them?" Aunt Beth asked. 

"I did," Carl said. 

...................................................................

The next morning:

Rick walked through the door. My parents followed behind, and I ran to hug them.

"Are you okay?" Dad asked. 

"Yeah. What happened at Woodbury? Where's Daryl?" 

Mom pat my head and sighed. "He found Merle at Woodbury. He chose to stay with him." 

"He'll be back," Dad said. 

Mom bowed her head and hesitated. 

"What is it? What happened?" I asked. 

"We have to tell you something," she said. 

...................................................................

I sat on my bed and tried to understand the news. "Why is she there? Michonne said how bad Woodbury is. If she knows that, why didn't she leave?"

Mom stood in front of me. She held her hands behind her back and bowed her head. "You talked to her?" 

"She mentioned a friend she met in the woods. That was Aunt Andrea? That was her?" 

Dad put his hand on my shoulder. 

I squinted at him. "Why are you acting sad? We have to go get her out of there."

"The Governor's a bad man," Mom said. "He found out about us. We have to protect this place, protect each other, from him. If we go and save her —"

"When," Dad interrupted her.

"When... We'll have to play our cards right." 

...................................................................

We walked through the isolated cellblock that the survivors Carl and I saved were staying in. The group spread out to meet them. 

The man with the blue beanie walked towards us. "I'm Tyreese." 

My grandpa introduced the rest of them. The woman who exhibited rage when we locked her up was Sasha. Allen was the man who lost his wife, and Ben was their son. 

"Hershel said you could use some extra hands. We're no stranger to hard work. We'll go out and get our own food, stay out of your hair. You got a problem with another group, we'll help with that too. Anything to contribute," Tyreese said with a friendly smile. 

Rick bowed his head. "No." 

"Please," Sasha said. "It's like 'Ten Little Indians' out there. It's just us now." 

Rick went silent before denying again. 

"Let's talk about this," Grandpa said. "We can't just keep —"

"I can't be responsible," Rick interrupted.

"You turn us out, you are responsible," Tyreese said.

Grandpa motioned Rick to move closer to him. "We owe you our lives. We've done everything you asked without question. And I'm telling you, you're wrong on this. You've got to start giving people a chance," he told him.

Rick moved his gaze through each of us. He held his face and sighed, before staring at the second floor, where the big window was. "No, no, no, no, no. Why are you here? What do you want from me?" 

"Dad?" Carl asked with a cracked voice. 

"I can't help you, get out! Get — get out!" he yelled. 

"Woah, woah, woah. Hey, come on. Woah, it's all good," Tyreese said.

"What are you doing?" Sasha asked. 

"Hey, easy, Rick." Mom tried to comfort him. "There's no need to —"

"You don't belong here! Get out! Please!" he yelled.

Mom jumped and held Carl and I back. My heart pounded as I waited for him to yell louder. 

"Get out! Get out!" 

"We'll leave. We're going. Okay? Ain't nobody gotta get shot here. We're going," Tyreese said. 

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" Rick yelled from the bottom of his lungs. 

"Just go! Go! Go!" Dad motioned the survivors out. 

Rick tried to calm himself down while he stared at the floor.

Chapter 11: Reconciliation

The white chalk dusted my fingers as I wrote "one month" and the three days Judith's birthday could've been on the wall of Rick's cell.

Dad walked through the door. "I'm going out for a while. I'll be back soon." 

"Where?" I asked. "Woodbury?"

"Not Woodbury. Just out."

"I can go with you."

"No. You need to stay here and help defend this place, that's more important right now."

Ever since he returned from being held hostage at Woodbury, he lost a bit of the optimism he's been holding onto since the start. I knew he was holding something back.

"Dad, what happened there?" 

He grinned. "Be safe. I love you." 

...................................................................

After I rocked Judith to sleep, I laid my clothes into my drawer as slowly as I could, trying not to wake her. An explosion sounded from outside. I yanked my gun off of my dresser.

Mom ran to my cell, picked Judith up from the box she slept in, and placed her under the bunk. She grabbed my shoulders and bowed to my level. "Remember everything we've taught you. Aim your gun and don't let go of it. It's time."

...................................................................

I stood next to Carl, behind the wall. Gunshots went off from both sides, one after the other. Carl made most of the shots, aiming for the guard tower. A man from Woodbury was inside it, shooting back at us. I stepped in front of Carl to make the shots he couldn't and backed away quickly enough to not get hit. I turned to Mom, who ducked behind the small cabinet feet ahead.

"Mom!" I yelled. 

Carol moved in front of me and knelt with her gun. "Mallory, pay attention over here." 

The gunshots from the enemy's side stopped. Carl stood silently as he waited for more of them. 

A van broke the gate as it zoomed through it and stopped in the middle of the field. My panic was a weight in my chest. I thought about how a bomb would've been able to travel in it. I imagined the Governor, somehow charming, but behind his facade, he was destructive, twisted, and deformed, even if we were the only ones who could see it. I imagined him willing, and prepared, to shoot all of us dead within a split second. The van's ladder banged against the grass. The dead walked out of the back, few at a time, too many to count. The driver, riot gear protecting his entire body, walked out. We unsuccessfully shot at him, until he got away. 

...................................................................

After the attack: 

The group met in the main part of the prison to make a plan. Daryl returned, but brought Merle, the untrustworthy and dangerous asshole that he was, with him. Being on the other side of the fence, they helped during the battle. Merle was locked in a cell behind us. 

"We're not leaving," Rick said.

"We can't stay here," Grandpa said. 

Mom reloaded her pistol. "What if there's another sniper? A wood pallet won't stop one of those rounds." 

"We can't even go outside," Aunt Beth said. 

"Rick says we're not running, we're not running," Dad said.

"No. Better to live like rats," Merle said. His voice was scratchy, like a chain smoker's. 

"You got a better idea?" Rick asked him. 

"We should have slid out of here last night and lived to fight another day. But we lost that window, didn't we? I'm sure he's got scouts on every road out of this place by now." 

Daryl paced upstairs. "We ain't scared of that prick." 

"Y'all should be. That truck through the fence thing, that's just him ringing the doorbell. We might have some thick walls to hide behind, but he's got the guns and the numbers. And if he takes high ground around this place, shoot, he could just starve us out if he wanted to." 

"Let's put him in the other cell block," Mom said. 

"No. He's got a point," Daryl said. 

"This is all you," she said. "You started this." 

Aunt Beth walked down the stairs. "What difference whose fault it is? What do we do?"

"I said we should leave. Now Axel's dead. We can't just sit here," Grandpa said. 

Rick walked away. 

"GET BACK HERE!" Grandpa walked over to him. "You're slipping, Rick. We've all seen it. We understand why. But now is not the time. You once said this isn't a democracy. Now you have to own up to that. I put my family's life in your hands. So get your head clear and do something." 

...................................................................

I entered Daryl's cell. "Merle hurt my parents. He can hurt more of us, too. Why are you letting him stay here?"

He rewrapped the wound on his arm. "It's either we both leave or we both stay."

"Why?" 

"If Andrea was here, would you want her to leave?" 

"I haven't gone after her. I understand she chose the wrong side. That she's not good for the group or me. I accepted that." 

"He's my brother. I've gotta stick with him, through the rough times too." 

Carl rushed through the door. "Andrea's here!"

"Speak of the devil," Daryl said.

I walked to the entryway. Everyone prepared their guns. 

"Stay here," Rick told me. "Watch the baby."

"Are you gonna shoot her?" I asked. 

"It's just a precaution."

...................................................................

Andrea entered through the door. She froze when she saw me, and put her hand to her mouth as tears formed in her eyes. "Mallory..." She walked over to hug me. 

I turned to my side, rejecting. "No. Why'd you leave? Why are you with him?" 

Mom grabbed my shoulder to bring me back, and lead me to my cell. 

"I'm so sorry," Andrea said as I walked away. "For everything, I am." 

...................................................................

I laid on my bed and played with my hands, laying them against the bottom of the top bunk, and listened to the argument.

"The time to plead for forgiveness would've been months ago," Mom said.

"We stepped in because you didn't," Dad said. "You had every reason to. And now you chose the man who's trying to kill us over her. You found out we were at the prison days ago. You haven't exactly rushed to get here."

"I got here as fast as I could. You have no idea how happy I was when I found out she was alive. I thought she was dead and tried to have some kind of life. Now I'm being blamed for that?" Andrea asked.

"We knew who you were before this. At the farm, we could see it," Mom said.

"And what does that mean? Who am I, Maggie?" Her voice cracked. "I'm trying to fix this."

"You won't."

...................................................................

Andrea stood beside my door. I tried to find the words to say. 

"You're going back? You're not staying?" I asked.

"I don't think things look good enough for me to stay right now." 

"You can fix things with us. But you can't fix things with the Governor. He's trying to kill us, trying to hurt us, and he won't stop. You know that, and you're still going back." 

"You know I don't wanna leave, right? You're the most important thing to me. I know, trust me, I know it didn't always seem that way, but you always have been. I'm gonna do the best that I can. I'm gonna try to make it so we all win, so neither one of us loses." 

"That's not gonna happen. We're losing. We already have, and we still will. He killed Axel, one of our friends. When he finds out you're on both sides, he might try to kill you too." 

"I believe it can work. And I'm believing that for you. I'm trying to do what's right for you. I can't give up on that." 

"When something goes wrong, don't say we didn't tell you so." 

...................................................................

The next day, Rick, Daryl, and my Grandpa went to Woodbury to meet with the Governor and try to compromise. The Governor told Rick that he wants to take the prison. That he wants us gone, dead. That he doesn't care if he kills us, that he wants to. 

I sat at the table and loaded my pistol, preparing for the war. Mom pulled out a chair across from me.

"Do we have the strength to win this? Do we have more people than they do?" I asked her.

She folded her hands and exhaled. "You know if you were ever in any danger, your dad and I would get rid of that danger, right? No matter what it was."

"We survived seven months on the road," I said. "We starved and slept on dirt, but we all made it. How many of us have died since we got here? We tried to make this into a home, and it was. But it can't be. Not like this."

...................................................................

When survivors from Woodbury planned on coming back to attack, we split into groups. One to stay at the prison and fight them off, ambush them. One to go to Woodbury, in case they got away. Not trusted with any other responsibility, I was assigned to stay on watch. 

Judith laid in the backseat of the car. I stood between Carl, my aunt, and Grandpa, as gunshots sounded from the prison. 

A teenager ran through the woods, fleeing the scene of the battle. He stopped right in front of us, and we aimed our guns at him. 

He put his hands up. "Woah, woah, woah. Don't shoot." 

"Drop the weapon, son," Grandpa said. 

"Sure." He handed the gun over. "Here, take it." 

We didn't move our guns. My gaze was stuck on him. Carl pulled the trigger, and a bullet knocked him down. 

...................................................................

The fighters at the prison, including my parents, made the people from Woodbury retreat. After we walked through the entrance of the prison, my parents rushed to us. 

"What happened out there?" Dad asked. 

I didn't want to tell them, so they looked to Grandpa to answer. 

"A boy from Woodbury ran up to us. He surrendered, but her and Carl didn't put their guns down. Carl shot him. She pat him on the shoulder and said she would've done the same thing." 

...................................................................

We stood outside to greet the group that went to Woodbury. An entire bus pulled in, that was filled with the town's residents. Carl and I walked to Rick. 

"What is this?" Carl asked him.

"They're gonna join us," Rick said. 

I looked at the survivors that were being led out of the bus. "Andrea?" 

Rick bowed his head. Tears formed in my eyes, and I realized.

Carl followed me to the corner in front of the gate. The blooming lily flower's pedals, freckled with yellow dots, curved out at the tops, like a cup opening itself for pollen. It hung over the bottom of the pot, just beginning to bloom. Through my tears, I smiled.

Chapter 12: Convalesce 

"July 2014:

It's been a month since the Governor and Woodbury attacked us. And a year since the start of everything. Since the outbreak. None of us thought we'd make it this far. We remember who we've lost. We try every day to honor them, and live how they wished we would. Live because of them. We've fought to make this prison into the home we hoped it would be since the second we saw it. We've continued to train with our weapons, grow crops and raise pigs, go on runs for supplies. We wait, we prepare, for when Woodbury will attack again, when the Governor will. We won't let our guard down. We'll continue to sleep with one eye open until they're dead. But we'll win. I have to believe we will. We used to think this whole thing wouldn't have lasted as long as it did. We waited for the cure, thought somebody would figure it out and get rid of it all. But after the CDC, after the Governor tore down our gates, after who we've lost, I knew it wasn't going to end. That no one was going to come and save us. I've been scared since the start. As much as I try not to be. But other people are how we survive. We have to be the ones to be strong in it, learn how to fight, and survive in it. This is the world we're stuck with. This is the new world, and it won't change. So we'll keep fighting, keep growing, providing and finding. We'll keep holding onto hope, continue to take care of each other, and do what we have to do. This is how we create our future. Maybe we get to decide what that looks like. Maybe the world will listen."

...................................................................

I rested my elbows on the railing of the guard tower. Since I hated farming, I helped Mom with watch duty instead. A faint gunshot sounded from inside the prison. I looked to Mom to make sure I heard correctly. Lizzie and the other kids ran out and yelled for help. Michonne rode her horse back to the gate, and walkers followed and surrounded her on every side. She wrestled with them, trying to push them away. Carl went to help her.

I grabbed my gun and positioned it, watching them struggle. "Carl!" 

Mom and I ran through the door and down the ladder.

I helped Carl lead the horse through the gate and shoot the walkers closest to the inside. Michonne was stuck on the ground and screamed in pain after she kicked a walker off of her. 

"Are you bit?" I asked her. 

She grabbed her knee and grunted. "No."

A herd of half a hundred walkers surrounded the gate and moved closer. Mom and Carl helped Michonne up, and I closed the gate quickly enough for the dead not to get in. 

Rick walked to us and waved his hands out. "Hey, you might want to stay back." 

Carl ran to hug him. "Dad, I'm sorry. I didn't see you come out." 

Rick moved his bloody hands closer to himself and shoved Carl away. "It's okay. I'm here. I'm fine. But back away." 

A woman carried a dead body wrapped in a sheet towards the gravesite. 

"What happened in there?" Mom asked. 

Rick struggled to find the words. "Patrick got sick last night. It's some kind of flu. It moves fast. We think he died and attacked the cell block." He looked at Carl and knelt to his level, trying to reason with him. "Look, I know he was your friend and I'm sorry. He was a good kid. We lost a lot of good people. You shouldn't get too close to anyone that might have been exposed, at least for a little while." 

...................................................................

Cut up newspapers from the times before were stuck to the wall of Aunt Beth's cell. A purple gnome was painted on her jewelry box. I kept the turtle charm from Mimi inside of it, and I placed it in my palm. Michonne sat on the bed behind me and wrapped her wound in bandages. I could sense that her gaze was stuck to me, like she waited for me to say something. 

"What?" I asked.

"I haven't heard you talk about Andrea since it happened. Just wanna make sure you're okay."

I closed the jewelry box. "I told Daryl and Carl I'd be better off without her. We left things in a bad place. My parents and I were right, I knew we were. But I miss her more now than I did when she was alive."

"I need you to know that the reason she didn't look for you sooner wasn't because she didn't care. Deep down, she knew you were better off here. With this group. She knew you were okay, that you were safe. She knew how much this group loves you. She loved you."

"The last thing she said to me was that she was gonna try to make it work. All of it. That was stupid. She should've killed the Governor. She should've ended it."

"Woodbury's walls made her weak. I tried to talk to her, begged her to get out of that trap with me. But there was nothing I could do. Nothing you could do. She was my best friend. If not for her, I wouldn't be here right now. And I don't just mean this room. But she couldn't see things clearly anymore. She was killed by the man she gave everything up to defend. Her not wanting to choose a side, was how she ended up on the wrong one."

...................................................................

Carl sat on the bottom bunk and shoved his clothes into his backpack. "This whole thing is bullshit. What's gonna happen is gonna happen. We can't hide from it." 

"Your dad is right, though. We can't be stupid. We have to be on top of this. The chances of us getting it are high. Patrick died from it... You already lost a friend to it. If I didn't have to stay with my mom in the guard tower, I'd be going too." 

He stood up from the bed and moved close to me. "Then why won't you come with me? We were in the same place when it happened, exposed to the same stuff." 

I stared at the floor, and tears formed in my eyes. "Because my dad's sick and I'm not leaving." 

"He'll be fine. It's gonna be fine. Daryl's gonna go to get medicine. There are doctors here." 

"It killed Patrick. What if it kills him too?" 

He put his hands on my shoulders. "It won't." 

...................................................................

2 days later:

I wore Dad's riot gear and spent the day helping Mom defend the prison. I dragged the tree branches into the pile after her and Rick chopped them, so we could use them against the fence to secure it from walkers.

Rick went on a run with Carol, but she didn't come back. Karen and David, survivors we took in from Woodbury, got sick with the illness. She killed them to stop the sickness from spreading. Rick sent her away. 

A gunshot sounded from inside the prison. 

"What is that? What happened?" I asked.

Mom listened for a second, but continued to chop the tree. 

"Go," Rick told her. 

"The fence is more important, we need to keep it standing."

"I got this," Rick said. 

"Mom, I'm coming with you," I said. 

"No. You need to help Rick with the fence." 

"I have to see what it is! Dad's in there!"

...................................................................

We were locked out of the prison's entryway, and the night sky made it dark and hard to see. Mom and I held our flashlights and tried to get somebody's attention.

Mom banged against the door. "Dad! Open the door!"

I twisted the knob continuously, but it didn't work. Mom hit her axe against it, which got stuck and broke in half. The wood that flew in the air looked like electric sparks. She pushed me to the side to turn the knob again, and screamed out of frustration. Yelling sounded from the inside. Through the window, I watched the sick survivors bend over, weak from sickness. A woman ran towards the door to open it. 

A walker rushed to me, and I jabbed it through its chin. Grandpa laid on top of the stairs, held down by another one.

Mom aimed her gun to where he was. "Daddy!" 

"No! You could hit the bag. We need it for Glenn," he said. 

I ran to Dad on top of the stairs. He shook uncontrollably. His forehead was purple, and the area below his nose was red from blood. His eyes were open, but not focused. Blood poured from his mouth as he gasped for air, trying to cough. I froze and stared at him in shock. 

Mom sat beside him and held his hand. "He's turning blue!" 

Grandpa ran to hold him down and put the bag into his mouth. "Stay with us. Stay with us..."

His gurgling stopped, and he went silent. I fell to the floor beside him.

Mom held my hand and stroked his face. "You're gonna be okay. He's gonna be okay. We're gonna be okay."

Chapter 13: Diversion

I sat on the edge of the bed and slipped on my shoes. Carl reloaded our guns. 

"I can load mine," I said. 

"I've got it." 

"They haven't attacked us in three months, Carl. I'm not saying to pretend like nothing ever happened, but maybe —" 

He wouldn't budge. "That's because they're planning something worse. We need to come for them, before they come for us. Like my dad always says."

I put my hands on my knees and sighed. 

He turned to me, took off his sheriff hat, and placed it on my head. "We'll be alright. They might have the numbers, but we're strong. We know how to fight them."

I smiled. "Yeah."

...................................................................

I stood above the stairs and placed Judith in the cardboard box on the table. 

Aunt Beth organised the baby clothes beside me. "I could use your help with Book Club today." 

"I hate reading," I said. "Why are you still doing it after Carol's gone?"

"The kids get bored without it. You and Carl are kids, you should be there anyway."

I squinted my eyes at her. "I'll watch Judith and you can —"

An explosion caused bits of the roof to crumble and fall on top of us. 

My heart pounded, and all feeling left my face. "What's happening?" 

Aunt Beth hurried to grab Judith's box and place her under the table. I ran down the stairs to grab my gun. 

Carl met me at the end of the stairwell and took my hand. "Come on!" 

...................................................................

The Governor faced us farther down in the field, and used his tank as his stage. Cars surrounded him. The string of his eyepatch laid sideways across the side of his face. He frowned with malice, his anger bringing him the desire to harm us. "Rick, come down here. We need to talk." 

As we assembled on the other side of the fence, I hid behind the adults who stood closer to it. 

"It's not up to me. There's a council now. They run this place," Rick yelled to him. 

"Is Hershel on the council?"

A woman walked my grandpa out of the car, and with his hands tied behind his back, sat him down in front of the tank. 

"What about Michonne? She on the council, too?" 

Michonne was forced to kneel on the ground next to Grandpa. She gave a look that reassured me: annoyed by the Governor's schemes, and confident that we were stronger than him. 

"I don't make the decisions anymore!" Rick yelled.

"You're making the decisions today, Rick. Come down here. Let's have that talk."

Daryl handed us guns down at our sides, subtly, to keep our plan secret. 

I walked closer to Mom to whisper to her. "I need to go with Carl. That's the plan."

She gave me a slight frown and nodded. "Hold your gun the entire time. Don't surrender. I love you." 

...................................................................

I aimed my sniper through the holes of the fence, standing in the corner between Carl and Daryl. 

"They're talking. We could kill the Governor right now," Carl said. 

"From fifty yards?" Daryl asked. 

"I'm a good shot. I could end this right now." 

"Yeah, or you could start something else."

The Governor grabbed Michonne's Katana, and rushed to my grandpa. He held the sword right below his neck. My heart pounded. My arms tensed, and my ears pained from tension. I shook and struggled to hold the gun. He removed it for a second, and my heart rate decreased from relief. Somewhere deep in my mind, I thought it would end. That the Governor would leave. In the moment of peace and silence, we waited for his next action. He examined the sword, dragged it in the air below him, and slashed it against Grandpa's neck. My mouth locked open, and my exhale forced a sob. We shot as fast as we could. I shut out the screams from Mom and Aunt Beth, focusing on nothing but the trigger. Eventually, my hand gave out. 

The tank moved through the fence, collapsing it. First, the farthest fence, then the closest. The cars rolled in. 

I moved my position, and tried to get my head together to direct myself through the battle. 

Carl continuously pulled his arm back, working his gun. "You've gotta stay here!" 

"My dad's in there, I have to go!"

I ran through the smoke in a sideways path, dodging the bullets that shot at me. When I got to the end of the fence, I slowed. I ducked to the ground and held my hands above my head, and my scream erupted. Mom ran to lead me towards the bus. The tank shot at the prison, causing an explosion. 

Mom sat me on the steps of the bus. "Dad's in there, I have to get him. You have to stay with Beth, okay?" 

My throat tightened, and I tried to force words out, with my effort to breathe making my sob louder. "I have to go with you."

She inhaled and exhaled, reminding me to do the same. "Be strong for you. You have to make it for you. Even if I'm not here, even if you're the last one standing." She put her hands on my knees. "I'll be back."

I laid face-down on the steps. I listened to the hundreds of gunshots, which over time became the normal music of the battle. I didn't move. I was too weak too, and I didn't care if they hit me.

Chapter 14: The Cynic, the Optimist, and the Downcast

> I stared at the bottom of the top bunk, laying with my clammy hands rested on my stomach. The room was dark, and I was alone. I knew no one else was coming. And I waited it out. I embraced it. Until all the food was gone. It was up to my physical existence to give out. Until I disintegrated and there was nothing left. Until my corpse would fall.
> 
> Footsteps walked through the hallway and the cells, and stopped in my room. 
> 
> Without having to look, I knew who it was. "I tried to find Mom and Carl, but I couldn't see them. I couldn't see anything. I blacked out."
> 
> "We've gotta get out of here," Dad said. 
> 
> "We're gonna sit here, until we die."
> 
> "We've gotta keep fighting. You know that."
> 
> "They're not here. They either died in the smoke or by all the walkers the battle brought through."
> 
> "Don't say that. You don't know that. We need to find them. They wouldn't want you to give up. We can't." 
> 
> "I'm done fighting. It's gone. They destroyed this place. After what they did to Grandpa, everyone..." 
> 
> He was silent for a minute. "Is he dead?"
> 
> "The Governor killed him before he tried to kill everyone else."
> 
> He tried to process it, and handed me a bottle of water. "Drink this, now. Grab your bag. We're getting out of here."
> 
> I sat myself up with my elbows and furrowed my brow at him, tears stale on my face. "For what?"
> 
> "We're the ones who see it 'til the end. We're the ones who made it. We can't give up. And they're alive. They're somewhere, and we're gonna find them. They're not giving up on us. So I'm not giving up, and neither are you. I'll carry you out of here if I have to." He handed me Mom's riot gear. "Put this on." 
> 
> ...................................................................
> 
> The smoke still didn't clear from the air, and it fogged my glasses. Walkers, who were brought in by the dinner bell of the explosions, roamed inside the gates and below our feet. Dad and I, wearing helmets and bulletproof suits, made a run for it. 
> 
> The dead pushed us, keeping us in the middle of them. One stared at me through the glass of my helmet. I stared back, and didn't flinch. Dad escaped the walkers that surrounded him and cleared the ones around me, giving me a way out. 
> 
> Near the gate's opening, a woman sat in one of the watch-blocks, with her head bowed. She was a fighter from the other side. Against us. We kept walking, until Dad stopped in his tracks. I sighed.
> 
> ...................................................................
> 
> She wouldn't look up at us and bowed her head with her gun in her lap.
> 
> Dad grabbed the gun from her and saw that it was fully loaded. "Did you even fire a shot?" 
> 
> She shook her head. 
> 
> "All right. Let's go. Let's go." 
> 
> She didn't respond. 
> 
> He knelt in front of her. "Are you just gonna stay here, huh? You're just gonna die?" 
> 
> She tilted her head at him. "I was a part of this." 
> 
> "I know. I need your help." He poured a bottle of liquor on a white washcloth, struck a match to it and lit it on fire. "Back up." He threw the bottle into a car, causing it to blow into flames, and attracting the walkers to it. 
> 
> Running through the gates, we left the prison. 
> 
> ...................................................................
> 
> We circled out through the woods and onto the road. 
> 
> "Did you see if any of my people got out?" Dad asked the woman.
> 
> "All I saw was my sister in that field. She wasn't supposed to be there. She had a gun, but they just swarmed her. I did it for him. I trusted him. Brian, that man, he told us you were bad people. I know it's not true. I can see it's not, so what we did, what I did... I mean, I'm a piece of shit. Why would you want my help?" 
> 
> "I don't want it, I need it. I have to find Maggie."
> 
> "Who's Maggie?" She asked, exhausted.
> 
> "She's my wife. "I was on the bus and then I got off to help and she didn't see me." 
> 
> "How do you know if she made it?"
> 
> He walked up to her. "I don't know. But Hershel, Maggie's father was a great man. And he told me all I had to do was believe, and that's what I'm gonna do. Neither one of us should be alive right now. She got out, so you're gonna help me find her. Things aren't over." 
> 
> Walkers fled out from behind the trees and headed towards us. 
> 
> I took out my knife, and walked up to stab them. They attacked Dad, causing him to fall to the ground. When I ran over to help him, another one grabbed me. The woman stabbed it so I could escape, and killed the one on top of Dad. Too weak to stand up, he passed out. 
> 
> I shook his shoulders. "Dad? Dad, come on, wake up. Wake up." 
> 
> The vrooming of a car moved closer. I sat on the ground, in an attempt to hide from the driver. A green army truck stopped in front of us. 
> 
> I rolled my eyes. "Shit." 
> 
> "Hope you enjoyed the show, assholes," the woman told them.
> 
> A man with red hair walked out with confidence, holding his gun. A man with a mullet, and a woman with pigtails and a hat walked out behind him. 
> 
> "You got a damn mouth on you, you know that?" the redhead said, holding his gun up. "What else you got?" 
> 
> ...................................................................
> 
> We drove in the back of the truck for what seemed like forever. The woman from Woodbury wrote directions on her hand with a Sharpie, with the same depressing look she's had all day. 
> 
> "What's your name?" I asked her. 
> 
> "Tara." 
> 
> Dad regained consciousness. "Where are we?" 
> 
> "I don't know. We were fighting biters, and you passed out right after we left the prison. I didn't know what else to do. The back of the truck seemed safer than the side of the road," Tara said.
> 
> He tried to stand. "Did we pass a bus? On the road, did we pass a bus?" 
> 
> I stared at my hands in my lap. "They were all dead, Dad. It's gone." 
> 
> He tapped on the back window of the truck. "Hey, stop the truck." 
> 
> Abraham raised his middle finger at us and kept driving. Dad banged against the glass harder. 
> 
> "Dad, it's gone. You don't wanna see it," I said. 
> 
> He hit against the glass with his gun and cracked it. The truck slowed.
> 
> ...................................................................
> 
> The truck stopped. Dad grabbed my hand to pull me out of it. 
> 
> Abraham stood in front of him. "I don't know what your lady friend's told you about the special nature of the mission we're on, but this shit is time-sensitive and we're already way behind schedule. So I need you to turn your ass around and get back in the truck." 
> 
> "I gotta go," he said.
> 
> "It seems like neither one of you's been paying close enough attention to the hell on earth we've been living in. So let me tell you how to best avoid winding up just another dead-alive prick. You find some strong, like-minded comrades and you stay stuck together like wet on water. We need each other, partner. Even with all that gear on your shoulder, you won't last a night. Not by yourself."
> 
> "I'll take my chances." 
> 
> Abraham pushed Dad back. "I'm gonna have to insist that you hold the hell up. All right, believe it or not, the fate of the entire damn human race might depend on it. And if you care about keeping Little Miss Junior here alive, I suggest you think long and hard about not walking away."
> 
> Dad slapped his hand away. "What the hell are you talking about? Who is this guy?" 
> 
> I rolled my eyes. "He says he can find a cure and stop all of this. It's ridiculous." 
> 
> "No, Miss Junior, it's what's gonna save you. Save all of us. As sorry as I am, I'm not sure that your way's gonna save your Mama. But our way's gonna save you. We're on a mission to get Eugene to Washington, D.C. Eugene's a scientist and he knows exactly what caused this mess."
> 
> Dad looked to Eugene, the guy with the mullet. "So what happened?"
> 
> "It's classified," he said. 
> 
> "So you can't tell us anything?" I asked. "Not a thing?" 
> 
> "He'd been talking to the muckety-mucks in Washington on his satellite phone. The past couple weeks, nobody's picking up on the other end," Abraham said. 
> 
> I hooked my backpack through my other arm and walked forward. "That's because they're dead." 
> 
> "We could use your help."
> 
> "We're not interested," Dad said. 
> 
> We walked away, and Tara caught up behind us. Abraham and his girlfriend Rosita (the girl with pig-tails) followed. 
> 
> "I know how to get back to that bus. I wrote down every turn. I will get you back if I can, okay?" Tara told Dad. 
> 
> "That's where she'd go to find me. That's where I'm gonna go," he said. 
> 
> Abraham was on our asses. "It's a waste of time. Tara told us what went down. There is zero chance you will ever find your wife again. Alive or dead. Mainly because, sorry to tell you, she's gone." 
> 
> Dad stopped walking. 
> 
> "No need for you to die too. Now come on. Get back in the truck. Do something with your life. When the people we love kick... well, they disappear. Doesn't mean you've got to go out that way, too." 
> 
> Dad turned and punched him to the ground. "She's alive. And I'm gonna find her." 
> 
> "You son of a bitch!" Abraham ran towards him and knocked him down. 
> 
> He put his hands around Dad's neck. I hit the back of his head and clawed at his back, leaving white scratches. Tara grabbed me, and they continued to tackle each other. Gunshots went off behind us. Walkers headed out from the cornfield, and Eugene shot at them. 
> 
> "Eugene! Stop firing, damn it!" Abraham ran towards him.
> 
> Tara and Rosita followed. 
> 
> "Dad, we have to go. Come on!" I yelled. 
> 
> "We have to help them," he said. 
> 
> Eugene, barely able to kill the walkers on his own, was helped by the rest of us who shot the remaining ones. Abraham, with frustration, knelt by the bottom of the truck to see the gas that leaked from it.
> 
> Dad handed him his gun back. "Sorry about your ride. Hope you guys make it to Washington." 
> 
> He nodded. We walked away. 
> 
> "Wait for me!" Tara ran towards us. 
> 
> "What the hell else are we gonna do?" Rosita asked Abraham. 
> 
> "Go to Washington! Fix the whole damn world!" 
> 
> I stopped in my tracks to look behind me, and they all followed us.
> 
> Chapter 15: Shelter
> 
> About twenty days on the road:
> 
> I sat on the edge of the train tracks while the rest of the group caught water in the lake. I stuck pieces of the deer we found for lunch into the fire, bit by bit, and let it cool before placing it in my mouth. I tried not to think about how wrong it tasted. 
> 
> Abraham paced back and forth on the road. "It's been almost a whole month! How long are we gonna sit on our hands, searching for something we're never gonna find?" 
> 
> "Every day that passes, we get closer to finding them," I said. "You know that." 
> 
> "That's inspiring, but —" 
> 
> I placed my hand on my knee and rolled my eyes. "For all the hope you have about saving the world, why are you being so negative about finding them?"
> 
> "Because finding a lost relative's not a code. It's a tricky and slippery guessing game that you're praying you have all the pieces to." 
> 
> Dad placed the containers of water into the backpacks. "We're going to Terminus. It could be safe. They could be there."
> 
> ...................................................................
> 
> Nighttime: 
> 
> I sat on watch with Rosita, because I couldn't sleep. My oily skin itched in its entirety. I stretched my back against the front of the tree, and placed my hand on my head. My hair was wet from sweat, and grainy from dirt and dandruff.
> 
> "You wanted to give up at first," Rosita said. "When I first met you, you didn't have any hope that they were alive, and I could see that. What changed?" 
> 
> "I was weak when everything started. Scared of pretty much everything. People told me I was strong, that I had to be, but I wasn't. I waited for everyone else to fight for me. Hoped it would work out. And I lost a lot of people. There were things I probably could've done something about. But most people don't get a second family. And I'm not watching the same thing happen again."
> 
> "I don't think Abraham doesn't have hope for you. He just doesn't want any distractions. He's a good man. I've got his back. But that doesn't mean I have to agree with everything he says."
> 
> "Do you really think getting to Washington could stop all of this? We were there at the start. Everything fell. Everything was gone. More dead than I've ever seen anywhere else. Who knows how much worse it's gotten now." 
> 
> "It's not about how bad things are now. It's about doing whatever we can to fix them. Sometimes you have to take risks for what's right. So if going there can somehow fix anything, we have to."
> 
> ...................................................................
> 
> Walking on the train tracks again, Dad froze and stared ahead. Knowing what the sign said from feet away, I exhaled and smiled. I looked to him, and we ran to it.
> 
> Written with blood on the sign, "Glenn, Mallory, go to Terminus. -Maggie, Sasha, Bob." 
> 
> ...................................................................
> 
> We reached a big tree with leaves that looked like oval spears, and a dark tunnel surrounded by rock. The message was there again, written with blood on the outside of the tunnel. 
> 
> Dad felt the writing with his fingers. "We're gaining on 'em. It's still wet." 
> 
> We couldn't see anything inside the tunnel, but walkers groaned from deep inside it. 
> 
> "We sure as Shinola can't go up and over," Abraham said. "How about around?" 
> 
> "No. That'll take a day, maybe more. If Maggie went through, I'm going through. We're close," Dad said. 
> 
> "That there is a long, dark tunnel full of reanimated corpses. I don't have full-on certainty that I can get Eugene through there alive. My recommendation would be take the day, make the detour and play it safe, but I know you're not gonna do that. So this is where we've got to part ways. I'm sorry." Abraham took off his backpack and laid it on the ground in front of us. "You're on your own." 
> 
> Tara walked up to us and smiled. "No, you're not."
> 
> I swallowed the lump in my throat and held back my tears. 
> 
> Rosita gave me a hug. "You're the strongest kid I've met in this. Taking a risk for something that matters, that sounds like you. You'll find them." 
> 
> Eugene looked at us all, awkwardly. "You're both good people. I have to say that you are seriously hot, Tara." 
> 
> "Yeah, I like girls," Tara said. 
> 
> I grinned, trying not to laugh.
> 
> Abraham stood in front of me. "You've been trying to prove me wrong this whole trip. Not a lot of people get to do that. And I hope nothing more that you do." He looked to Dad. "Say you get into trouble in there. You turn around. We're doubling back to the first road we crossed. Maybe you find us before we find the right ride." 
> 
> We stared at the tunnel and prepared to go inside. My legs were glued to the ground, but I unstuck them.
> 
> ...................................................................
> 
> My flashlight was too small to cover much of anything. Walkers squeezed between the rocks, and were stacked on top of one another, and reached for us. The further down we went, the more there were. 
> 
> "The blood is still wet. This had to have happened today," Tara said.
> 
> A big hollow hole covered the ceiling. It was blacker inside than out, and vines poured out of it. 
> 
> "What is that?" I asked.
> 
> Walking in between two big rocks, we killed the walkers that were in the middle of them. When we reached the top, tons of the dead occupied the space. My heart raced. They headed towards us, hitting the rocks we were standing on. Dad examined them with his flashlight. 
> 
> "Glenn. What are you doing?" Tara asked. 
> 
> "She's not one of them."
> 
> "What?"
> 
> "There's no bodies on the ground, that means Maggie made it through. She made it through. We have to get rid of them." 
> 
> "We don't have enough ammo."
> 
> "Then we'll push through." 
> 
> "We have to find another way." 
> 
> "I'm wearing riot gear," I said. "I can use it. I can push ahead of you, and you can stay here and cover me." 
> 
> "No," Dad said.
> 
> "Dad, it might be the only way. I can do it. I wouldn't stop."
> 
> Tara fell, and the surrounding rocks trapped her. We hurried to pull them off.
> 
> She reached for her leg and grunted. "I can't —" 
> 
> Dad tried to pull the rocks off, but she was stuck.
> 
> "I'll pull the rocks, you cover us," I told him. 
> 
> Tara sweat and panted, out of breath. "Go. Go. Find Maggie. Go find Maggie." 
> 
> Tears made my eyes twitch. "Tara, no!" 
> 
> Dad looked behind us and shook his head. "No, no. No!" 
> 
> Tara smiled, almost laughing. "You can't save me. Even if you got this off me, I can't run. And if you help me, they're gonna get both of us." 
> 
> "There's gotta be a way. There's gotta be a different way," Dad said.
> 
> "Glenn, they're coming."
> 
> I turned and faced the walkers.
> 
> "Get out of here! Go!" 
> 
> Dad shot them, and gave me the cue to shoot some myself. He ran out of ammo, and used his voice to draw them closer. "Come on. Come on!" 
> 
> I squinted and covered my face as a bright light shone on us. I ducked, hugging one of the rocks. 
> 
> "Get down!" a voice yelled in the distance.
> 
> Gunshots went off, coming from several different guns. All the walkers were taken out. 
> 
> I removed my hand from my face. I tilted my head, and tears fled my eyes. "Mom!"
> 
> She knelt to my level and placed her hands on my shoulders, and stared at me in shock, trying to process that I was there. She stood to pick me up, walked to Dad and froze in front of him, and sobbed as she held us tight. 
> 
> ...................................................................
> 
> The fire shone brightly in my eyes. Eugene, Abraham, and Rosita sat beside me. They helped Mom find us. Bob and Sasha escaped the prison with Mom. Bob was found on the road by our group when we were at the prison. He became one of us. Sasha went from being a stranger that Carl and I rescued, who hated us for not trusting her, to one of our own, just like Bob was.
> 
> Rosita pulled a can of corn out of her bag and showed it to me. "I found this. It's the only kind you'll eat, right?" 
> 
> I smiled. "Thank you." I looked to Abraham. "Thank you for coming back."
> 
> "Eugene led us in the wrong direction. Then we saw your mom and folk right outside the tunnel. We had to show 'em, give them the information they needed. Common courtesy." 
> 
> I bowed my head, smoothing the dirt in front of me. "I think you realised that reuniting a family might be more important than saving the world." 
> 
> "What?" Sasha asked. 
> 
> "Eugene's a scientist. When we get him to Washington, he can stop all of this. Isn't that right, Eugene?"
> 
> "That is correct," Eugene said. 
> 
> My parents walked over to us. 
> 
> Sasha pointed to Eugene. "He just said that he knows what caused the outbreak." 
> 
> "Yeah. He does," Dad said. "Let me guess, he asked you to go to DC with him?" 
> 
> "I'm downright tickled y'all found each other. Should spend the rest of the night celebrating. Because tomorrow there's absolutely no reason why the nine of us don't stuff ourselves in that van and head up to Washington," Abraham said. 
> 
> "We still haven't found Carl yet, the rest of our friends," I said. 
> 
> Mom pat my head. "We'll find him. If him and Rick saw the signs for Terminus, they'd be headed there too. They could be there right now, wondering where you are."
> 
> "We're a day's walk from Terminus. Who knows what they've got there," Eugene said. 
> 
> "Look, it couldn't hurt to check," Rosita said. "Load up on supplies, maybe even recruit some of them to come with." 
> 
> "I'll go with you guys," Sasha said. "But after. I have to see Terminus. My brother could be there. I got to know." 
> 
> "Me too," Bob said. "On both counts."
> 
> Abraham stood. "Tomorrow we go to the end of the line. Then Washington." 
> 
> ...................................................................
> 
> 2 days later:
> 
> A brownish brick building with no roof stood ahead of the train tracks. On each of its windows was a different letter painted in black, spelling "Terminus." 
> 
> Dad aimed his sniper, and I held my pistol. The gate opened. Beds with pastel colored flowers laid on the side of the building. Bushes that looked like trees were planted against the wall, next to the tall sunflowers. 
> 
> A sign hung on the door. "Lower your weapons. You will be met. You have arrived at Terminus." 
> 
> My parents and I looked at each other for reassurance, and walked through it.
> 
> Green and red umbrella tables captivated me. Cabinets, buckets, and baskets laid across the ground. The place was cluttered with supplies that made me sure it was full with survivors.
> 
> A woman cooked on a grill, and turned to us when we walked closer. She was middle-aged, and had long brown hair that was in a braid, and wore a poncho over a single-button shirt. "Hi. I'm Mary. Looks like you've been on the road a while."
> 
> "We have," Mom told her. 
> 
> "Let's get you settled and we'll make you a plate. Welcome to Terminus." 
> 
> ...................................................................
> 
> We sat at the table and ate what Mary prepared for us. It was bland, but bitter and tangy, and its strings kept getting stuck in my teeth. Mary kept cooking.
> 
> A man in a blue jacket stood in front of us, next to another guy with a mustache. "I'm Gareth. This is my brother, Alex. Glad you could join us."
> 
> "You know, I've had my share of roadkill, and this isn't like any that I've had before," Bob said. 
> 
> "What, you don't like it?" Alex asked. 
> 
> "Didn't say --"
> 
> Gareth interrupted Bob. "How 'bout we move this inside? Show you guys around, check you for weapons."
> 
> I put my fork down, and pressed my feet on the ground as I prepared to jump up. I tried to control my breathing and clasped my hands together. Mom placed her hand on my back, and Dad reached for his gun. The men stood over us. 
> 
> "What is this place?" Sasha asked.
> 
> "Let's go inside," Mary persisted. 
> 
> ...................................................................
> 
> My arms were squeezed together behind my back, and I tried not to express my pain. They forced my riot gear off, and wrapped duct tape around my wrists. I prepared to kick them in the nuts and step on their faces, free everyone, and run. 
> 
> "Let us go!" Sasha yelled. "We'll leave, you don't have to worry about us, just let us go!" 
> 
> "Why are you doing this? We're good people," Bob said. 
> 
> "There's no good people anymore, Bob," Gareth said. 
> 
> A can of evaporated milk stood outside the train car. My panic made me nauseous as I realized their horrifying plan. I was the last one to be shoved inside, and I blacked out. 
> 
> ...................................................................
> 
> 1 day later:
> 
> Gunshots sounded near us.
> 
> I jumped. "What if that's them?"
> 
> The door of the train car opened, and footsteps walked inside.
> 
> Dad moved to the center. "Rick?"
> 
> "Carl?" I asked. 
> 
> He ran to hug me, and I cried into his shoulder.
> 
> "We're gonna make it out of this," he said.
> 
> "Yeah, I know."
> 
> Rick stood near the wall. "They're gonna feel pretty stupid when they find out."
> 
> "Find out what?" Abraham asked. 
> 
> "They're fucking with the wrong people."


End file.
